Fields of Green
by kirason
Summary: (Completed) Nobody seems to understand Healer Trainee Lyrissa. She's quiet and never volunteers a thing unless specifically asked - until the day she performs a Counter-Healing. What's going on?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – As much as I love Valdemar, I don't own it :)  That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey.  However!  Lyrissa, Alie, Karm, Jesin, Andil… they belong to me ^_^  Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;)  Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com  and would be greatly appreciated ^_^  Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 1 ~

_Healer's Collegium:_

            "Lyrissa Lorhart, from the Border."

            The scribe nodded and made a notation in the books.  "Referred from the local Healer's Temple?"

            "Yes."

            More scribbling, and the scribe handed Lyrissa her appropriate papers.  He then nodded to the young boy to his left.  "Follow him, he'll show you to your quarters."  He extended his hand.  "Do you have the reference letter?"

            The girl nodded, not saying anything else, giving the sealed parchment to the scribe before following the boy dressed in the pale green uniform.  He seemed to be cheerful, obviously thinking that Lyrissa's silence was due to shyness.

            "Hi!  My names Bryant.  So you're from the Border?  I was raised in Haven so I bet it's really different out there, huh?  Lots more people than you expected?"

            Lyrissa barely nodded, but not saying much.  Bryant frowned a little as they padded down the hallway.

            "Well, don't worry.  You'll get used to it…" A shrug but still no signs of emotion from Lyrissa.  Bryant, slightly at a loss about what to do with this overly quiet girl, decided to ask the generic question all Trainees asked each other when they first got to the Collegium.  "So, when'd you find out you had the Healing gift?"

            Deadpan eyes turned to face the chattery Trainee, eyes that halted Bryant's cheerful questions.

            "When my sister found the Havens."

~~ ^ ~~

            _::My roommate is a little creepy…::_

            Alie glanced across the room to where her roommate was sitting on her cot.  However, that was all her roommate seemed to be doing.

            Supposedly, the girl's name was Lyrissa, from the Border area.  She had managed to pick that up from Bryant when he had dropped her off.

            But if she didn't know better, she'd swear she had acquired a statue over a roommate.

            The bags had been left unpacked, and the only reason why Alie knew the girl moved at all was because she saw her leave at the morning bell for breakfast.  She never said a word, and while Alie didn't mind if her roommate had a strong desire for privacy, this was just getting a little scary.

            It was worse when she actually chose to ask a question.  The few times Alie had tried to be friendly, those clouded blue eyes simply focused, not on her, but a spot slightly past her.  As if she had been to the Havens and back and knew everything that would come to pass.

            Alie was always the first to look away.

~~ ^ ~~

            It was that girl again.

            Every morning, after breakfast, she would help to clean up the dishes even though she wasn't part of the clean-up crew.

            And every morning, after she had rinsed her own utensils, she would spend a good portion of a candlemark scrubbing at her hands.  Karm was starting to think that she would rub her hands raw if she continued with this behavior.

            Almost regular as clockwork, she would pause while scrubbing her hands, staring at them as if they were not truly cleansed.  Karm could see her shaking, ever so slightly, as if in fear.

            What could there possibly be to fear in his kitchen?

            Karm was the easy going sort, and the first time he had seen her, he had simply let her do as she liked, thinking she was originally part of the crew.

            The second time, he had questioned the other Trainees as to why she seemed to be so stubborn about her hands.

            The third time, he had tried to ask her himself and had only been the recipient of cloudy blue eyes.

            By the sixth time, he was starting to get unnerved.

            As he glanced over, he abstractly noticed that the water carried slight tendrils of red being drawn down the drain with the usual soap bubbles.

            Red?

            Dropping the plate he was washing, he grabbed at the girl's hands.

            They had begun to bleed.

~~ ^ ~~

            Healer Jesin shook his head, looking up at his charge.  Lyrissa was the epitome of meekness, head down and hands tucked behind her back.  Of course, it was those hands that had caused such a stir in the kitchens today, and right before class too.

            Lyrissa was definitely a mystery.  Jesin made it a point to always keep tabs on all his students, so he had copies of all the reference letters each had carried with them to the Healer's Collegium.

            Evidently the local Healer's Temple in her area had made it a point to keep track of all the youngsters with potential.  They were all checked at an early age since for some reason, the area had a strong streak of producing people who had a strong Gift.  Lyrissa had been old enough that the Temple didn't think her Gift was going to manifest itself and the channel would stay closed.

            Until the day she had collapsed at the Temple steps, close to death.  The Temple had gone into a frenzy, trying to figure out what exactly had happened.  She had blood stained on her clothing, but no wounds.  The Healer who had first probed her for any Gift also now received a strong shock; Lyrissa now had a very strong mental shield as if it had always been there.  As if she had been trained for years.

            The Healer could, quite frankly, not get Lyrissa packed fast enough to ship her towards the Collegium.

            However, the reference also held an interesting dichotomy.  It claimed that before the Gift had manifested, the girl had been bright and cheery.  Holding a passion for animals, they had adored her and she had adored them in return.  It also mentioned a younger sister, one who had followed Lyrissa around like a baby chick would its mother.  In fact, it painted such a carefree, gentle picture that if the reference letter hadn't been from another Healer, Jesin would have thought the writer had been observing another girl of the same name.

            This Lyrissa was quiet and moody.  The strong shields were there, but the eyes did not sparkle; they were cloudy.  Her voice did not brim with happiness but instead held no emotion at all.  Her walk was slow and calculated, not carefree and with abandon.  And there certainly was none of this "passion to volunteer for just about anything".  In fact, he could hardly catch her attention in class!  The girl was always staring blankly at her desk, never volunteering a word.

            Tapping the desk absently with a finger, he looked up to study the girl in front of him, still in the same meek position.  With a mental sigh, he tried to keep his voice soft and open, "Lyrissa… is there anything wrong?  Anyone bothering you, or would you like to move?  Are the classes not interesting enough?"  The fact that the Queen's Own had the insufferable torture of the Blues when she first arrived as a Trainee had put all Collegiums on an alert to anybody who could also similarly be bullied.

            Lyrissa merely shook her head.

            Jesin studied Lyrissa for a bit longer, unsure what to do.  If a student admitted no problem, then there was little in his power to try and help.  It couldn't be something terribly horrible or the Queen's Own would have been, politely but firmly, breaking down doors to get to the little knot of misery she would be able to sense.

            With a wave of his hand, Jesin gestured for Lyrissa to leave, "Well, if you should need anything, please just say so.  We may be your teachers, but we want to make you feel comfortable.  Anything at all."

            Lyrissa only nodded, eyes still fixed at a point somewhere inbetween her feet and Jesin's desk.

            _::I'm going to keep a close eye on her…:: But he nodded as well, and Lyrissa left to head to the stables, where she was supposed to assist Healer Andil in the tending of a few injured animals._

            Jesin followed a few moments later, intent on seeing if perhaps the contact with animals would revive any sort of emotion at all in this almost... shell of a person.

~~ ^ ~~

            "Ah Lyrissa, there you are."

            Healer Andil stood, brushing off hay from his trousers as he watched the new student pick her way to where he was.  She kept her head down, not looking at him in the eye.

            _:: She's certainly a shy one :: thought Andil, but he merely put on his most charming smile and gestured towards the small pen behind him where an injured lamb was held.  Keeping the injured in the stables seemed best, since they stayed warm and had no chances of accidentally wandering into a foul situation._

            Lyrissa hardly ever said a word, but that was fine with Andil since he was never one to engage in chatter.  It didn't seem so long ago that he had been the shy Trainee, but while he was no longer shy, old habits died hard; he still didn't talk much unless it was absolutely necessary.

            _:: But enough daydreaming ::  he scolded himself mentally, moving over to the newest admittance to the stables.  The poor lamb had been bitted by a ChangeBeast, but a small one luckily, so it had survived.  Although usually such a lamb would be tended by its owner, this one had been brought to the Healer's Collegium for the Healers to study the wounds inflicted by such creatures._

            While it wasn't a pleasant idea, it was unfortunately always possible that a human would be the next to receive a similar wound.  Healers liked to be prepared.

            Lyrissa had always been good with the animals.  While quiet, they seemed to immediately take to her and settle down.  Those in pain seemed to know that the strange human was here to help.  Perhaps there was some Animal Empathy as part of her gifts; Andil would have to check up on that.  Funny how she never showed any emotion, though, even when the animals were practically lying in her lap.

            Bending down, he looked over his shoulder to notice that Lyrissa seemed transfixed by the sight of the wound.  She too, bent down, hands gently grasping the leg which had been wounded.  At first, that was all Andil thought she would do.  Perhaps she was Healing and he merely couldn't sense it?  Her shields still seemed to be up, which made it unlikely.  Plus, the lesson wasn't supposed to be to Heal, though, but to bandage after Andil had done his work.

            Calling upon his own Healing gift, he looked at the lamb's injury, the small bacteria likely to cause infection appearing as small purple glows.  It wasn't anything serious – it didn't seem like this particular ChangeBeast had been poisonous.  Andil was about to drop his gift and reach for light disinfectant and bandages when he paused and frowned.

            A dark glow was threading its way through the purple.  The purple pulsed at a steady beat, then started to expand, growing in number.  The infection was spreading, and quite rapidly!

            Jerking his head up, he looked at Lyrissa, still clinging to the leg.  Her face, usually so blank of emotion, seemed frozen in an expression of terror.  Yet, Andil could tell it was her work that was causing the sudden infection – she was doing a Counter-Healing!

            "Lyrissa, what on _earth are you doing?"  Yanking Lyrissa's hands off the lamb's leg, Andil quickly sent a strong hammer of his Gift at the dark glow to chase it away and hopefully stop the proliferation of the bacteria.  Forgetting himself for a moment, he slapped at Lyrissa's face, hoping that such a blow would knock her back to reality._

            His shock and anger combined with his attempts to not lose his head made him quiver with suppressed emotion.  "A Counter-Healing!" he yelled, standing up and glaring at Lyrissa.  "Girl, we do not _do that sort of thing!  We do not poison, we bring relief!"_

            Her face, still full of terror, was not faced towards him, though.  Lyrissa was staring at her hands.

            "The blood…"            

            _That but a stop to Andil's rant.  Blood?  There was no blood?  Lyrissa's hands were a little chapped, but there was no blood.  "Lyrissa?"  He ran a hand through his hair, his multitude of emotions having him speak more than he usually did.  "Look, I'm sorry I lost my head but –"_

            Lyrissa looked up, her eyes full of terror and revulsion.  The blue eyes, usually so clouded, were crystal clear with emotion now.

            "The blood… Jinny…"

            And then she fainted.

_~  So__ what do you think?  Good, bad?  Chap. 2 will hopefully be done soon =)  See you then! ~_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – Ahem!  As much as I love Valdemar, I don't own it :)  That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey.  However!  All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my previous chapter and the new additions in Chapter 2: Mikel, Bremol, Kelsi, Piel… they belong to me ^_^  Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;)  Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com  and would be greatly appreciated ^_^  Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 2 ~

            Somebody was screaming.

            She was in a field, sheep grazing and looking all for the world perfectly calm despite the screaming.

            _:: Home … ::_

            There was blood, and over to the side two girls: the older cradling the younger.

            Someone was crying.

            _:: My…? ::_

            And the older looked up and pointed at her, accusingly.

            Suddenly Lyrissa was falling, falling, falling…

~~ ^ ~~

            It was chaos in the Healer area for patients.

            A few were by the bedside of one girl, trying to keep her thrashings down to a minimum.  Their faces were concentrated, covered with sweat and looking for all the world as if they were fighting a battle that required climbing a mountain.

            Another cluster had formed farther from the bed and closer to the door.  Some people were shouting at the top of their lungs while others tried the softer for firmer tone to get their point across.

            It gave Herald Mikel a headache.

            While this room was fairly large and meant to fit two patients, it was awfully hard to ignore the loud ruckus that had ensued.  Trying to shake off the remnants of his abruptly-roused-from-sleep, he sat up and glanced over first at the cluster around his newly acquired roommate.

            Even asleep, the girl's face seemed to be filled with terror.  She was thrashing about, and constantly throwing off the hands that reached in to hold her down.  _:: Interesting that a Trainee could be giving them so much of a hard time. :: thought Mikel wryly.  __:: I wonder if she's had any weapons training. ::_

            The Healers surrounding her, though, seemed less concerned about her physical actions and seemed more to be sweating over something else that wasn't in their control.

            Unable to see exactly what was going on, Mikel turned to look at the other cluster of Healers.  There were four of them by the door, and if Mikel tried, he could listen in on their conversation.

            "… not done!" exclaimed the one with dark hair.  

            "I realize it's not done, but that's exactly what she did," said the only female in the group, who was crossing her arms as if in disgust that her fellow Healer could be acting so _stupidly._

            "A rogue Gift?" hazarded Dark Hair.

            "No," replied the tallest one in the group with an air of stubbornness.  "She had been perfectly good with the animals before.  They loved her, in fact, and I think she loved then despite that façade that refused to show any emotion."

            "But she performed a Counter-Healing!" bit out Dark Hair, his arms gesturing wildly to point at the bed where their fellow Healers were still struggling with the Trainee.

            "And I doubt she meant to," replied the till-now silent sandy brown haired man.  "I walked in a bit after Lyrissa and Andil settled down."  He nodded at the tall man, "She seemed perfectly fine until she saw the wound.  I don't know what you know about this girl, but she's infamous for showing absolute _no emotion whatsoever.  I saw emotion this time – terror.  Complete and utter terror."_

            Dark Hair didn't seem to be listening.  "She's a risk to the Healers!  We should throw her out – even better, close her gift!"  He dissolved into a fanatic babbling that caused even Mikel to raise an eyebrow.  Clearly this Healer had lost all of his calm.

            "Healer Bremol!" shouted Sandy Brown, reaching over to grasp Dark Hair by the shoulders and shake him.  "Listen to you, you're judging before you're understanding!"

            "Oh, oh, I understand!"  He pointed with a shaking finger at the thrashing bed.  "That… that _thing is a risk to us all!" _

            And without another word, Dark Hair stormed out of the room.

            Sandy Brown, Tall One, and Female sighed together.

            "I hope he doesn't do anything rash," said Tall One, ruffling a hand through his hair.

            "Let's hope not," quipped Female, finally uncrossing her arms.

            Mikel watched as all three crossed to where their fellow Healers were struggling.

            "Any luck with her?" asked Female, peering over shoulders and flailing limbs.

            One of the Healers shook his head, ducking an arm before grabbing hold of it again.  "None, Kelsi," he said, frustration lacing his tone.  "Somehow she's shielding very _very strongly.  Even though she's not exactly conscious at the moment, we can't get through to see what's wrong."_

            "Give her any sedative?" offered Sandy Brown, eyeing the girl with an expression that Mikel couldn't decipher.

            "With all due respect, Jesin," the same Healer tried to catch Sandy Brown's gaze without losing his grip on the girl's arm, "but we can't even get a cup close to her mouth without her knocking us aside with the strength of a horse!"

            Jesin was about to reply when, abruptly, the bed stilled.  Everyone stared at the girl on the bed who had suddenly stopped moving.

            Suddenly, Mikel was slammed with a curious non-feeling.  It was as if all emotion had gone cold.  Shaking his head, Mikel tried to fight the feeling that his world had lost all color and had reduced itself to black and white.  Scratch that, mostly black.

            The feeling ended as abruptly as it had started.

            Evidently the Healers hadn't received the same treatment, for none of them carried the dazed, "What on earth just _happened?" look that Mikel knew he had to be wearing at the moment.  However, they must have noticed something else._

            One of the Healers was cursing quite colorfully.

~~ ^ ~~

            She was still falling… her tumbling felt like it would never end.  Lyrissa tried to curl into a little ball, trying to find a way to at least end her feelings of dizziness as the blackness continued to claim her.

            But she couldn't move, and she was falling…

            Suddenly, her tumbling slowed.  All around her, the air didn't seem quite so dark anymore.  It seemed to be shimmering with energy, laced with blue and white and silver.

            Soft as a feather, she landed in someone's arms.

            She couldn't see his face.  It was too bright, too much white after being in the dark for so long.  But she knew it was a he – something about his presence felt so masculine and safe.

            _:: But… ::_

_            Her Knight shook his head, bending down to brush away the dark brown hair that shadowed her face._

            She felt comfort, safety, relief.

            And she closed her eyes and slept.

~~ ^ ~~

            Talia, gentle and usually very calm Talia, was feeling less than calm at the moment.  She was feeling quite on edge after spending the past three weeks chasing down what seemed like a ghost.

            Her mouth twitched.  At least ghosts didn't send you sprinting for the nearest exit in an effort to _find them.  _

            The flares always began as a knot of incredible suffering, followed quickly by a cold… lack of emotion.  Talia shivered.  The brief times she had felt the "deadness," as she had started to call it, was enough to send Talia racing from whatever she had been doing to find the source.  Once, she had even deserted Selenay in the middle of a Council session.

            She had gotten a couple strange looks for _that particular action._

            But every single time, without fail, the feeling would end in just a few moments.  It was never enough time for Talia to track down the source.

            A helpless feeling descended her.  Queen's Own, and yet unable to do a thing.

            Despite her effort to keep her worries hidden away, her fretting was starting to show.  Dirk, in particular, had started to become overly concerned, questioning her and asking if there was anything she needed off her shoulders.

            Talia always shook her head, wishing for a split second that the bond between them wasn't so sensitive.  He could feel she was hiding something, but she could tell he was reluctant to press her for anything she wouldn't volunteer on her own.

           And while usually she didn't mind sharing everything with Dirk, Talia had a feeling that should she voice her concerns, it would spur a search on Dirk's part, leading to an almost inevitable chasing away of the elusive person she was searching for.

            A brief whicker brought Talia back to reality and she looked up to stare into the deep sapphire eyes of a pure white horse.  She had strolled over to the Companion's Field without even realizing her path.

            "Rolan, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle…" she reached over to gently stroke the Companion.  "Where is this person that keeps flaring in my senses?  I know he or she is close… otherwise it wouldn't be so strong."

            A feeling of encouragement.

            "Any idea who it is, where I can look?"

            Waves of confidence came through her link.

            "Don't know, but you think I can figure it out, huh?  Ah well, it was worth a shot."

            Concern.

            "Oh no, that's ok.  My gift's not going to go rogue or anything just because I can't track down one individual," she added wryly, wincing a little at her words.  The memory of her Gift going rogue was hardly a pleasant one.  It also caused her to remember the dedication of her fellow Herald and friend, Kris, no longer among the living.  Talia did her best to fight off a wave of sorrow that threatened to shake her control.

            Wait.  Talia's mind jerked out of its current cycle of thought.  Going rogue.  It was her Empathy that had gone rogue.  For the signal to be so strong… it had to be an Empath.  And the only other Empaths were at…

            "The Healer Collegium!"

            Turning on her heel, Talia first walked, then ran towards the Healer Collegium.  Perhaps it was time to catch up with her old mentor, Devan.

~~ ^ ~~

            At the same time that Talia was breaking new records in sprinting, Lyrissa was walking back to her room, the usual expressionless mask fixed upon her face.

            It had been five days since Lyrissa awoke to see a crowd of faces hovering over her bed.  

            During those five days, Lyrissa swore that if people didn't stop treating her as if she was some creature pulled from the Pelagirs, she was going to go insane inside her outside appearance of no emotion.

            Healer Bremol treated her like a poisonous snake.

            Healer Jesin watched her out of the corner of his eye, calling on her more often in his classes in an effort for her to say something where he used to leave her well enough alone.

            Healer Andil tried to act normal, but she knew he was keeping a careful monitor of what she did when she got close to the animals.

            Healer Kelsi, who she barely knew, could be felt at the corner of her senses, almost as if she was tailing her.

            And several other Healers always paused in their conversation as she walked by, staring at her as if she had some sort of branded sign on her forehead that said, "I'm a freak, watch me go!"

            When she had first arrived at the Collegium, Lyrissa had buried herself deeply within, wrapping all her emotions into a tiny little cocoon and allowing the world to come to whatever conclusions they felt was appropriate to explain her behavior.

            They would only blame her too, if they knew.

            Her hands never seemed clean.  She scrubbed at them constantly, but to her eyes, they always seemed stained.

            Five days ago, she had scrubbed them too hard.  The cook had nearly flipped, rushing her off to the nearest teacher in the halls he could find to treat her.  She had later needed to report to Healer Jesin since she had missed his class.  After prodding her with a couple questions, he let her go to Healer Andil in the stables.

            She didn't know what exactly had happened next, but whatever had occurred had given her a splitting headache.  The last thing she remembered was seeing the poor lamb with the bite in its leg.

            Lyrissa inwardly shuddered, though the outward mask was perfectly intact.  She had recognized the bite of a ChangeBeast.  Probably something that got mutated from a rabbit.

            She knew that bite mark all too well.

            Depression threatened to crash down upon her again.  She was a failure.  She knew – 

            "I just don't _understand her!"_

            Lyrissa paused, a few steps away from entering her room.  The voice that had interrupted her thoughts belonged to her roommate Alie, who had taken to avoiding her in every way possible.

            Murmurs of sympathy drifted down the corridor.

            "She's a freaking statue!  She looks like death warmed over!  She just sits and stares at everything with those blue eyes of hers and it's just creepy!  I feel like she's looking into my mind and knows exactly everything I've done including the things I've forgotten from when I was a mere babe!"

            More murmurs and one braver voice spoke up.  "Have you ever tried to talk to her?"

            "_You look at her and see if you want to talk to her!" snipped Alie in response._

            Another voice, a guy.  Piel, it sounded like.  Kind Piel, the one who talked to her even if she didn't respond.  "Do you know what happened in the stables?" his voice was soft but eager, as if he bursting to tell a secret.

_            :: No… ::  She didn't want to listen.  Not to Piel.  Lyrissa started to turn away._

            More murmurs, this time of dissent.  "Do tell," replied a girl, not Alie.

            "I heard… she performed a Counter Healing!"

            Whispers.  Hushed shocked voices.  Lyrissa froze.

            "I'm serious.  I heard a couple teachers talking about it.  She was just looking at a lamb's leg and boom, she started blowing up the bacteria and spreading the infection that would've been harmless."

            "I didn't even know that was possible," responded the girl that was not Alie, the fear obvious in her tone of voice.

            She could hear shifting on the bed, as if Piel was a little bit uncertain, "I didn't know either.  Maybe we get taught about it in a more advanced class or…" she could almost hear him shrug, "maybe she's just different."

            Lyrissa felt cold.

_            :: The Healers…no wonder… ::  _

            She looked at her hands, stained as they always were to her eyes.  Now they were stained in Piel's eyes.  In Alie's eyes.  In her teacher's eyes.  Her fault, _again.  This time to a poor animal.  She had betrayed its trust.  Like Jinny._

            "… tainted …."

            The word was whispered and could barely be heard, but it still snuck out from the room of Trainees and reached Lyrissa's ears.  Her room, full of people who feared her and hated her and blamed her.

            Tainted.

            Pain surged within her to be quickly dismissed and replaced by nothingness.  She embraced it.  Nothingness meant she was safe…

~~ ^ ~~

            Footsteps echoed outside, and then stopped.  Alie glanced up towards the doorway and paused in the middle of her response, words frozen on her lips.  The other Trainees that had gathered in her room also turned around to see who it was stood in the doorway.

            Lyrissa's eyes were blank.  They didn't show anger, or pain, or even sadness.  They were simply blank, as in the blue was merely a coloring and there wasn't anything inside.  She was looking at Piel, who was perched on the bed, his face ashen.

            "L–Lyrissa!  You're back early.  I thought –"

            The words died as blank eyes turned to rest on Alie.  She cringed a little, and the eyes seemed to drop their blankness for a split second.

            Eyes had once been called windows into a person's soul.  If these were windows, Alie certainly liked it better when they were drawn shut.  There was so much… pain, suffering, anguish, loneliness… millions of emotions swirling there, but all of them negative.  As if her roommate had simply forgotten what it meant to be happy.

            And then the moment was gone.  The shades had gone back up, and there was simply nothing.

            Nobody said a word, Alie still gaping like a fish and Piel having lost his previous eagerness to share tales.  The other Trainees stayed silent, whether of guilt or uncertainty it wasn't clear.  They watched as the girl named Lyrissa turned around and walked back down the way she had come, the sound of footfalls ominous in the silence left behind.

_~  So__ what do you think?  Good, bad?  Talia's on the chase, Alie's finally come to realize that her roommate may have feelings, and the Healers are clueless about what to do with the girl that Counter-Healed.  Stay tuned for Chapter 3, and leave a review!  ~_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – *coughs* As much as I love Valdemar, I don't own it :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels (Lyrissa, Jesin, Mikel, you get the idea)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 3 ~

            Talia knocked gently upon the door.

            "Come in!" the voice was muffled through the wood, but still conveyed a warm reception.

            Carefully, she opened the door, peering inside in hopes that she was not disturbing her old mentor.

            "Talia!"  Healer Devan rose, smiling, a twinkle in his eyes.  "To what do I owe the pleasure?  You do not visit us quite as often as you used to."

            Talia smiled wanly and shook her head.  "I wish it was only pleasure that brought me, Devan, but I actually am looking for someone."

            "Oh?  Come, sit."  He gestured towards a chair before again seating himself.  "Although generally I would think you do not need people to help you in your search."

            "No…" Talia admitted slowly as she sat down.  "And that would happen to be the problem."

            It took a while for Talia to explain the flares that she had been feeling and her hypothesis that it should be someone within the Healer Collegium due to the abruptness and strength of the feelings.  Or lack of it feelings, as it was.

            "What I can't understand is how this person can be shielding from me so thoroughly.  If the pain I feel is any indication, this person should be as obvious as a glowing beacon!" Talia concluded, a hint of her frustration creeping through.

            Devan thoughtfully tapped his chin before nodding.  "I think… I may know who it you are looking for," he replied slowly.  "She has caused… quite the stir among the Healers.  Some fear her, some pity her.  Many keep their distance, nobody understanding her."

            Talia's eyes showed confusion.  "I don't understand, what could this poor girl have possibly done?"

~~ ^ ~~

            Healer Jesin was at a loss over what to do with his controversial student or even how he should treat her.  Trying to give her more attention in class to draw her out of her shell was one thing, but it wasn't going to end the gossip.  He had decided that the other thing to do was to try and understand what exactly it was Lyrissa had done.

           However, nobody seemed to know too much about Counter-Healing besides the fact that it was technically possible.  Sometime back in the history of Healers, before even Herald Vanyel's time, it was decided too dangerous to spread such knowledge.  While most Healers used their Gift in the correct manner, there was always the black sheep in the flock.

            It had begun as what everyone thought a normal disease.

            It had ended with the loss of over a third of the Healers and with the majority of the rest weak or recovering.  Some Heralds, and even a few Bards, had also fallen victim.

            The Healer-Mage had been caught and brought to trial.  Under the truth spell, he admitted everything – he had been a spy, sent to infiltrate and weaken Valdemar and spread his nasty concoction: a virus that leeched off the Gifts.  The magic helped it to be undetectable and to the Healers, just a simple fever.  Yet, once touched by the Healer Gift, it seized the potential of the Healing and reversed it into a vicious Counter-Healing spurt that poisoned the body and specifically attacked the channels that allowed a person to use their Gift.

            Valdemar never found out whom the spy had reported to.  Further pressure caused the Healer-Mage to suddenly be sent into convulsions.  

            He was pronounced dead by the time his head hit the floor.

            The fear over such an event caused high tensions and for many to eye the Healers warily.  To the people, it didn't matter that it was an enemy that had done the deed.  It didn't matter that the only people who had been attacked by such a virus was the Gifted.  It didn't even matter than only a Healer-Mage could create such a nasty creature.

            What only mattered was the idea that Counter-Healing could be used against the people.

            People fear what they do not understand; Counter-Healing was quickly banned from being taught to Healers, its dark legacy to be passed only as a part of history.

            Or so the musty old book had claimed.

            The discovery of the book had first given Jesin hope at finding potential insight into understanding what his student had done.

            By the time he had finished it, Jesin was both disappointed and frustrated.

            Walking along the terrace that graced the Healer gardens had seemed the best way to try and relax at that point.  The clouds were ominous and promised rain was soon to come, but Jesin went outside regardless.  As he studied the clouds and contemplated his next course of action, a gryphon passed by overhead.  Absently, Jesin waved to the creature in the sky, although he doubted it would notice his movement.

            He had heard about the creatures, though he had yet to meet them up close.  Everyone had heard the tales of the former-Heir Elspeth, who had ventured far to bring their new allies and reestablish the mages.  With her had come the gryphons along with other fabulous creatures.

            Jesin frowned, pausing on that thought.  _::The gryphons have never been exposed to the regulation to forget how to Counter-Heal.  Even better, aren't the gryphons supposed to have their own type of Healers?::_

            Turning back indoors before the skies could bathe him, he mulled over the possibilities.  Perhaps it was time for Jesin to meet these new allies.  Provided, of course, that he could work up the courage to talk to a creature nearly double his size with a rather wicked-looking beak.

~~ ^ ~~

            The sky had opened, the rain mingling with the tears on her face as she stumbled, pitching forward into the grass.

            She wasn't exactly sure where she was or how she got there, but Lyrissa knew one thing – the elements were far kinder than the whispers or the accusing stares.

            Struggling to stand, dizziness swept her and threatened to send her tumbling once more.  Falling to her knees, she painfully watched the ground swim in and out of focus before closing her eyes and shaking her head in an attempt to clear her muddled mind.

            _::What's wrong with me?  I haven't been outside that long – have I?::_

            Turning her face towards the sky, Lyrissa dared not open her eyes but simply felt the cool drops splatter upon her skin.  She would be scolded later, but no matter, it was inevitable for what she had done.

            _::Jinny…I'm coming::_

            Then she collapsed, never hearing the approach of the unique sound of bells mixing with the fall of a hoof.

~~ ^ ~~

             Talia closed the door behind her, leaning against the doorframe in reflection for a moment.

            _::Counter-Healing, huh?  That would certainly put a cat among the pigeons::_

            Devan admitted that he didn't know the entire story.

            _"Have to realize that I wasn't there, and it's only what I heard.  I also know that several Healers had the hardest time trying to help the girl after she collapsed the first time."_

_            "What happened?"_

_            "They put her in the patient's area, but when they tried to look at her with their Gift, she went berserk.  Still unconscious but she just started thrashing.  Even if they wanted to try and Heal her, they couldn't do that either."_

_            Talia had realized that could only mean one thing.  "She wasn't willing?  But… she was unconscious!"  People who had a very strong will to not be Healed could reject the Healing._

_            Devan shrugged, "It wasn't just will.  They couldn't even get that far."_

_            Talia looked blank._

_            "Her mental shield… was incredible."_

            Talia didn't know what to make of that information.  A mental shield strong enough to bar Healers… it just wasn't supposed to happen that way.  But if it was strong enough to bar Healers, that could be why she couldn't pinpoint where the flares of emotion were coming from.

            A barrier strong enough to keep those who usually could get in, out, and the things that usually leaked out, in.

            She could almost feel the headache coming.

            As Talia had stood to leave, feeling unsure of how to proceed with this enigma, Devan had left her with one more bit of information.

            _"Ah yes, I almost forgot.  There was one of your own that witnessed the entire scene.  A Herald Mikel, who had been put in that room before our little puzzle came along."_

_            Herald Mikel.  She didn't know him very well, but she knew that he was Chosen of the Companion Cera.  Well, she would simply have to search him out._

            _::But now what should I do?::  Talia didn't know whether in this case it would be better to try and find Mikel or to just go and find the girl, Lyrissa._

            She bit her lip slightly.  _::If her shields are good enough to stop me from finding her, my Empathy might not be as effective unless I come fully prepared::  _

            It was odd that she was thinking of this situation so differently than any other she had tackled, but this one _was different.  Talia had never had someone hide from her before, even unconsciously._

            Just as Talia had decided it might be best to find Herald Mikel after all, she heard footsteps heading towards her.  Pushing herself away from the doorframe, she turned to see a familiar sandy brown haired man murmuring to himself as if concentrating very hard.

            "Why hello Jesin."

            The Healer in question raised his head, blinking slowly before recognizing the source of the voice.  "Talia!  Been a while since I've seen you floating around our halls.  Are you here to help with one of the bedridden?"

            She shook her head slightly, although a faint smile danced on her lips.  "Sadly no, it's other business this time.  I was just talking with Devan about a mystery that's been flittering in and out of my senses for the past three weeks."

            "Ahh," Jesin glanced at Devan's door and sighed.  "I suppose he's busy?  I was hoping to talk to him."

            "I'm sure he's not too busy," Talia said soothingly, "But what's the urgency?  Perhaps I can help, if it's not something only Devan can do."

            Jesin's eyes brightened, "Yes, maybe you can actually.  You see ah…" and now he coughed a bit delicately.  "I wish to speak with the new ambassadors.  Er, the gryphon ambassadors to be exact."

            An arched eyebrow in response.  "Really?  And what would the reason for that be?  Despite many reassurances, I know most people prefer to keep their distance."  The voice was light and teasing, but still held a grain of truth in it.

            Talia was right on that account; Jesin _would prefer to keep his distance.  But it seemed like a good time to start casting away prejudices.  "Ah well.  I was thinking that perhaps they could provide me with some… information."_

            "Of what sort that you can't locate in your libraries or among your fellow knowledgeable Healers?" Talia was genuinely curious now.

            "Counter-Healing."

~~ ^ ~~

            _::__Chosen__::_

            Mikel waved his hand idly in his sleep, as if trying to brush away the voice echoing in his mind.

            _::Chosen!:: the voice intruded more emphatically._

           _ ::Mmph, a healing Herald needs his rest, Cera love:: Mikel's eyes were still closed, willing the voice to take the hint as he rolled over on his side.  __::Is it truly necessary to rouse me?::_

            The Healers had pronounced him fit to leave earlier that day, but Mikel had seen the incoming rain storm and decided that it was better to nap in the patient area then to try and hobble back and risk getting drenched.  Cera teased him of being lazy, but Mikel had casually decided to ignore the comment.  The warm, humid air that accompanied the approaching storm had quickly lulled him to sleep.

            _::Chosen, yes.  Jayce has found that__ girl::  The emphasis on the word that made Mikel open his eyes in confusion.  Did she mean…?_

            Before Mikel could finish the thought, Cera interrupted again.  _::Jayce is frantic, and hooves cannot carry::  A pause, and then more softly.  __::The girl… he thinks she may be dying::_

_~ Gryphons?  Companions?  Everything's just getting more and more complicated ;)  Thumbs up?  Thumbs down?  Tell me what you think! ^_^  I'm at six reviews and counting at the time of this post, so I'd love to hear from you =)  Thanks to those who have already left their mark!  See you in Chapter 4 ~_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer – You know the drill: as much as I love Valdemar, I don't own it :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Jayce, Mikel, Piel, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 4 ~

            _::There has got to be some irony in this situation:: _ sighed Mikel as he dashed out into the rain.  _::I try my best to avoid getting drenched and I get stuck in the rain after all::_

_            ::Just bless the individual, __Chosen__, who made it so that Whites don't turn transparent when wet!:: _replied Cera, laughter flavoring her remark.

            Mikel chuckled, and shook his head.  Cera was right, of course; it could always be worse.

            The edge of the Healer Collegium grounds was barely visible in the pouring rain, forcing Mikel to pause and squint in order to search for the two white blurs that would betray the Companions' location.

             _::Over here::_  Movement flickered in his vision over to the right and Mikel hurried over.

            Cera was eyeing him patiently by the time he finally managed to get to the scene.  Her fellow Companion was nudging the girl on the ground, who was sprawled quite inelegantly in the grass.  Bending down, Mikel reached to brush the hair away that had fallen over her face.

            "Bright Havens!" Mikel exclaimed, snatching back his hand.  "Cera, the child's burning!"

            _::Jayce says her temperature is getting perilously close to the point where humans can't survive anymore, __Chosen__::_ Cera replied soberly.

            "Then we better get her inside, at the very least."  Mikel braced himself to stand as he cradled the girl in his arms.

            _::She's surprisingly light::_ Mikel thought absently.  Shifting slightly to get a better grip, he looked down, studying the girl's face.  It seemed to be a face that held so many stories.  And given what the Healers had been shouting five days prior, a face that had experienced a great deal of pain.

            _::Such a burden for a little one::  _Concern and pity welled up in his throat.  He never had even bothered to learn her name.

            _::Cer-::_

_            ::Lyrissa, __Chosen__.  Let's move – she's not getting any better as we stand here::_

_            ::True::_  He waited for Cera to bend down before he awkwardly mounted.  It was difficult riding bareback in the pouring rain, especially with his hands full, but Cera was not a horse after all – there was no fear he would fall.

            _::Definitely not a horse.  Think that and you'll be spending another fortnight in the Healers!:: _quipped his Companion with a reproachful toss of her head.  _::Honestly, a horse!::_

            Laughter tugging at his lips, Mikel freed one hand to brush a wet straggle of hair that had fallen into his eyes.  Trust Cera to always lighten the mood, no matter what the circumstances.  Looking carefully over his shoulder, Mikel noticed that the second Companion was still tagging along.

            A sudden realization hit him.  What had a Companion been doing over by the Healer Collegium anyway?

            A gently nudge in his mind brought him back to reality, and he realized that they had already arrived at their destination.  _::Chosen, while you make a lovely statue,  now is not the best of times::_

            Mikel flushed and decided it was better to ponder over such things indoors.

~~ ^ ~~

            Most of the Trainees had left by this hour, though many had begun to yawn over a candlemark ago.  After Lyrissa had made her appearance, the conversation had stalled, an uneasy silence falling over those who had originally gathered in the room to study.

            Slowly, ever so slowly, a word was spoken.  Then two.  Then sentences.  The room gradually came out of its stupor to reengage in teasing, story telling, and even the occasional bits of joking and laughter.

            The topic of Alie's roommate, however, was avoided.

            "Well, I suppose I better go," Piel rose slowly, the last one to vacate.  He had been silent the entire time despite the chatter that had surrounded him, his face a mask of deadly calm as if shielding carefully controlled anger.

            "Wait, Piel," Alie stalled him with a soft call, causing Piel to pause, a few steps from the door.

            "Yes?" he asked, not turning.

            "I – I'm sorry," she looked down, her voice barely audible, though she wasn't quite too sure what she was apologizing for.

            "Why?" the voice sounded harsh and bitter.  "Why should you be sorry?  You didn't do anything different.  Everyone knows that Rissa scares you.  I've heard you; we've all heard you."

            "But I –"

            "I messed up," Piel continued, as if he hadn't heard her.  "Mum used to say a boy like me shouldn't be so gossipy, should keep my mouth shut.  She said I would get myself into trouble one day."

            "Piel…"

            "I tried to be her friend, you know.  I wanted to help her, to put some emotion back into her eyes.  Nobody should ever look like that; it couldn't be for no reason.  I tried talking to her.  I joined your group because I hoped maybe she would come back sometimes.  Would come back to your room.  _Her_ room too."

            "I never –"

            "Then today I thought, 'I got to be one of them.  I got to be at least a little respected, otherwise they won't listen to what I have to say.'  She doesn't usually get back that early, so I didn't think there would be any harm in telling what happened.  Maybe you guys would even feel sorry for her for what she's going through, understand why some of the teachers treat her so warily now."

            Alie curled into a ball, hands clasping over her ears, "Sto-"

            "But that didn't happen, did it.  I scared everyone instead, and then I got scared because I had messed up and didn't know how to fix it.  And then she _came_.  She had _heard_ me."

            "Stop," whispered Alie, her eyes closed tightly, "Stop, stop, st-"

            Now he turned around, face slightly shrouded in the dim light.  Alie still had her eyes closed, but she could almost feel the anger in his eyes boring into her.

            "You should be ashamed, Alie.  You're a Trainee two years my elder.  I'm in Rissa's year, you know.  In fact, you're the oldest in our little 'group'.  You're supposed to be supportive, helping us in our studies.  Isn't that what you said Alie?  And then it was 'Lyrissa this' and 'Lyrissa that' to your yearmates and didn't you _think_ it wouldn't leak to the younger Trainees?  Didn't you stop to realize what kind of things you were spreading?  And then you actually came right out and said it today for the first time, complaining to us!"

            The last bit came out in a rush, and Alie could hear Piel breathing heavily, his breath rasping in the otherwise silent room.

            She heard him turn again towards the door, heard him pause at the threshold.

            "How you could be so cold and still have the Healing Gift, I really do not know."

            And then he was gone, only the harsh words left to sigh like a dying breeze.

~~ ^ ~~

            _::This:: grumbled Mikel as he leaned against the doorframe, __::is really all too familiar of a scene::_

            It was a different room, but there was the huge bustle of Healers moving to and fro.  Each moved with a purpose, but he could see many were nervous.  Again, the bed was thrashing with Healers trying their best to keep her down.

            All because of her.

            The girl that Cera had said was named Lyrissa had lain quiescent in his arms, and had hardly twitched when he found an empty bed to put her down.  From there, he had flagged down the nearest Trainee and asked him to find a Healer and inform him that Trainee Lyrissa was lying ill in this patient room.

            The Trainee had paled and darted off in a flash.

            Healer Andil had been the first to arrive, one of the Healers that Mikel recalled from the last "episode".  Andil had nodded to him abstractly before hurrying over to his charge on the bed.

            That's when the thrashing began.

            By the time other Healers arrived, Andil had his hands full in attempting to keep the girl from accidentally hurling herself off the mattress.  Mikel had distinctly heard one of them mutter, "Not again…" before rushing over to assist.

            Sticking to a corner and trying his best to stay out of the way, Mikel decided it was about time he saw to his own health and change out of his soaking Whites.  He glanced over at the window to see if Cera was still there.  Then blinked.  And stared.

            A Companion _was at the window, but it wasn't Cera.  In fact, Mikel was pretty sure it was the same one who had found the girl in the first place.  What had Cera called him?  Jayce?  The blue eyes, though, did not notice him but was focused only one thing: the thrashing bed._

            Eyes darting from the bed to the window, Mikel frowned slightly.  Why would this Companion follow a Healer Trainee so closely?  Was he going to Choose this girl?  But she had shown no aptitude other than the usual Healing Gift, Mikel was sure.  Or maybe…

            Mikel shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the confusing questions that promised a splitting headache if he dwelled on them too long.  He was too tired, too wet, too drained, to figure out life's little mysteries at the moment.

            _::Cera, love:: he Mindcalled, turning towards the door and doing his best to dodge the Healers walking about.__  ::Do you mind bracing the rain with me one more time?::_

~~ ^ ~~

            She wasn't falling this time; she was running.  The world was a fog, but she could still feel them out there.

            Laughter.  Whispers.  Stares.

            She tried to ignore them all, but it was impossible, it was all around her.

            _"… tainted…"_

            Lyrissa tried to run faster, faster, to get away from the words.  The words that were so cruel but had that tiny grain of truth.

            _"… we do not _do _ that sort of thing!"_

            Faster.

            _A scream._

            _::No…::_

            She fell.

            _::No…no, no, nononono::_

            Footsteps, but she was too tired, too weary, to run away.  She waited for the axe to fall.

            Gentle hands lifted her, soothed her.  That same flavor of blue, white, and silver bathed her.

            _::What…?::_

            She struggled to open her eyes, could feel the cool skin of a finger upon her lips.

            _::Knight…::_

            Then she lost the battle and relaxed, falling into a world of more pleasant dreams.

~~ ^ ~~

            Abruptly, the thrashing stopped.

            All pairs of eyes not currently around the bed turned to focus on the group around the bed, who each leaned back in various expressions of disbelief.

            "Just like the first time," muttered one Healer, sweat glistening on his brow.

            Two people who had been conversing intently by the door hurried over.

            "Kelsi?  What happened?" Jesin stepped his way over the crowd with Talia following closely behind.

            "I -" Kelsi hesitated for a brief moment.  "I don't really know."

            "But you were -" Jesin began before Kelsi shushed him with a wave of her hand.

            "I know what it looked like, but it was really the same as before.  That shield of hers…" she glanced over her shoulder.  "We really can't penetrate it."

            "And neither can I," murmured Talia softly, eyebrows slightly furrowed in contemplation.

            Jesin looked at Talia in concern before turning back to Kelsi.  "So do we know nothing?  Nothing at all?  Not even how she got to be in this condition?"  He frowned a little.  "I refuse to believe it was simply being outside.  The elements weren't that harsh to send her into that sort of fever."

            "I think I know what it was," said a faint voice on the far side of the bed.  The owner of the voice struggled to stand.  "I was able to get a glimpse before her shield threw me out."

            "Andil, are you alright?"  Concerned hands reached to steady him as the tall man swayed.

            "I'm… mostly fine," relented Andil before sitting on the edge of the bed, studying Lyrissa's face.

            Silence.  Eventually, Kelsi coughed slightly.  "You were about to say…?"

            "Oh, yes."  Andil continued to keep his gaze focused on the peaceful expression that Lyrissa harbored.  So different than any other expression she usually held.

            "She was Counter-Healing herself," he said softly.  "It was enough to send her into shock and fever."

            Only now did Andil look up and meet the gaze of his fellow Healers.  All eyes had gone wide with astonishment.  Talia, quivering with emotion, dreaded Andil's next words, unwilling ears tuned to what she did not wish to hear.

            "In other words, she tried to suicide."

_~ Mmm, I didn't get around to doing everything I thought I would in the chapter :)  But still, you like? ^_^  If you have any comments whatsoever, please leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated =)  Thanks to those who have already left your mark!  I'll be seeing you in Chapter 5! ~_


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – Same old, same old…as much as I love Valdemar, I don't own it :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Jesin, Mikel, Piel, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 5 ~

            _::Gods, I don't think I'll ever get rid of this headache::_

            Jesin collapsed into his chair, weary after a long evening.  After Andil had said his piece, the Healers present had led a rather spirited discussion concerning the girl in which Talia was finally required to step in and soothe ruffled feathers.

            _"To bed, all of you," she had said gently.  "You're tired, and even a little scared.  I don't blame you for being scared, but sitting here and banging your head against a wall won't change things.  Good rest might."_

            _Taking good advice for what it was, the Healers left, though some with a bit of grumbling, until only Andil, Jesin, Kelsi, and Talia remained._

            _Kelsi had her arms crossed; it seemed to be her favorite stance.  "I don't like this," she admitted bluntly, never one to hide behind a dance of words.  "I don't understand it, and I won't deny it scares me just a little."_

_            "Shields that throw out a Healer would unnerve anyone," responded Talia, laying a hand on Kelsi's arm, a look of concern on her face._

_           Kelsi shook her head, "I'm fine, just a bit worried.  Especially how others will react when they hear the news.  We were lucky that Bremol wasn't here."_

_            "Indeed," sighed Andil, who had until now remained silent as he kept his post at Lyrissa's bedside.  "And rumors always spread."_

_            "What is important," inserted Jesin, pacing the short distance inbetween the bed and the far wall, "is that we need to understand what exactly is Counter-Healing.  My instincts tell me that this puzzle is a lot simpler than we think, but we can't do a thing unless we know what is going on."_

_            Talia nodded slowly, "You mentioned something about talking to the gryphons before all hell broke loose?"_

_            "Gryphons?" Kelsi's eyes were wide._

_            "Gryphons," Jesin replied in the affirmative, halting in his pacing.  With a glance at the bed, he continued slowly, as if reciting something he had been turning over in his mind for quite some time.  "Unfortunately, knowledge of Counter-Healing was banned long ago.  I found a book that talked about the history of the banning, which you can all read if you like.  But the important thing I realized is that gryphons are not under our decree.  They are likely to still know about Counter-Healing, and if not them, surely one of them knows."_

_            "There are others," Talia added, nodding as she saw the truth in his words.  "Even Firesong might have an insight as to what is going on.  But first, we'll see who is available.  Everyone is busy doing something these days."_

_            Which was true.  Heads nodded as the Healers recalled the reports they had heard about the Storms only getting worse._

_            "Then Jesin, I will meet you at the __noon__ bell outside the ambassadors' wing."_

            Preparing for bed, Jesin inwardly winced.  Yes, he would meet Talia at the noon bell.  Provided, of course, he did not lose his nerve first.

~~ ^ ~~

            The sun was shining directly into Mikel's eyes, refusing to let him get any additional sleep.  Silently wishing that the Trainees had left his curtains closed when they had tidied up his room, Mikel squinted briefly into the light before flopping over, eyes firmly shut in an attempt to block out the morning brightness.

            _::Rise and shine!:: sang Cera in his mind.  Mikel groaned; Cera had always been a morning Companion.  How, he could never understand why._

            _::Because the morning is bright and glorious::_ said Cera cheerfully, generating a fresh groan from her Chosen.

            _::Enough, enough, I'm up you songbird::_  Carefully extracting himself from his sheets, Mikel stood and stretched, hearing a muscle pop.

            _::Good, because we have work that needs to be done:: _Cera replied, all sunshine and brightness in her mental voice.  It almost made Mikel's head ache.  Morning people, or Companions in this case, needed to be locked away together some place far away.  They could all praise the sunrise together and even leave normal folk alone.

            Wasn't that a wonderful thought?

            Still sluggish, he spent some time splashing his face before dressing in his Whites.  It was only as Mikel was closing the door of his room behind him that he realized he had absolutely no idea what "work" Cera had in mind.

~~ ^ ~~

            Alie stared idly at her work of trying to study various plants and their purposes.  No matter how hard she tried to concentrate, Piel's harsh words constantly resurfaced in her mind.

            _"How you could be so cold and still have the Healing Gift, I really do not know."_

            Abandoning her studies, not that she had been getting anywhere, Alie leaned back in her chair to stare at the ceiling.

            She had spent a restless night, tossing back and forth on her bed as the words had plagued her and refused to let her drift off into a dreamless sleep.  At some point of the middle of the tossing and turning, it had finally occurred to her that her roommate had not made it back; the bed across the room was still empty.

            Worried that it had been her words that had chased her roommate out, Alie had fallen into a deeper spiral of guilt.

            As if those two were not enough, every time that Alie had thought she had exhausted herself to the point that she had to collapse, the image of those blue eyes filled with so much pain and emotion was enough to drag Alie back from whatever threshold of sleep she had been about to cross.

            Finally, at the crack of dawn, Alie had been able to convince herself that at the very least, she was not _completely_ heartless, despite Piel's harsh words.  After all, she _did_ give up her time to try and assist the younger Trainees.  She _had_ initially noticed Lyrissa's reticence and tried to be a friend, but had let her fear overtake her concern.  She _had_ tried to put a curb on her mouth, only complaining to her yearmates, but had finally slipped and complained to the study group when one of the girls had wondered out loud where Alie's roommate always was.

            It was enough to at least let Alie rest for a small period of time.

            However, all these conclusions still didn't give Alie much peace of mind and she was lost deep in thought when she heard the cough from the door.

            She turned to crane her head and nearly toppled out of her chair.

            It was Piel.

           The younger Trainee looked embarrassed though.  "Um, may I come in?" he asked, looking nervous and out of sorts.

            "Yes, of course," Alie quickly set her chair back on the ground and turned to face him as Piel took his usual seat on the bed.

            A brief period of silence followed in which Alie's mind was running in circles.  Why was Piel here?  Why did he look so embarrassed?  Wouldn't he avoid her like the plague thinking she was a bad influence?

            Finally when her curiosity was just about to get the best of her, he looked up and stared straight at her, bringing all her mental questioning to a halt.

            "I'm sorry."

            Alie blinked a couple times, not understanding.  "Huh?" she replied in the manner of only the completely dumbfounded.

            "I'm sorry," he repeated, shoulders now slumped in guilt.  "I – I shouldn't have said those mean things to you last night.  I really just lost my temper and all.  I mean, I know you don't mean to be as bad as I made you out to be."

            "Oh…"

            "You do help out, honest Alie," continued Piel, trying to sound earnest, eyes pleading for her to believe him.  "And well, I know it's easy to get scared of Rissa.  She'd scare me too, I guess, if I hadn't seem something like it before I came to the Healers.  It was just… I was so mad with having messed up that all my anger exploded."  Now he looked sheepish, "You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

            Alie shook her head, her head whirling with this sudden confession.  "No, you were right in some respects," Alie admitted.  "I have been doing a rather poor job of trying to be a good roommate.  And no respectable Healer would let her fear run away with her like that just because someone isn't really acting how you want them to act."

            Now she straightened up and met Piel's surprised gaze.  "But I want to change that.  I want to find out what happened to Lyrissa.  I want to be able to help her.  And maybe, between the two of us, we can go out there and make a chance in somebody's life."

            Piel only continued to stare at Alie as if she had grown horns and a Companion's tail.  The silence lengthened and Alie resisted the urge to squirm in her chair under that startled, but measuring, gaze.  

            Finally, he smiled slightly and nodded.

            "I would like that."

~~ ^ ~~

            Jesin fidgeted nervously as he and Talia walked down the hallway to where the gryphons were housed.  A small corner of his mind was babbling furiously, but Jesin had mostly managed to shutter it up into just that – a small corner.

            He just hoped it wasn't easy to insult gryphons.

            "Don't worry, they have a good handle on Valdemar customs," said Talia as she glanced over her shoulder, sensing his uneasiness.  "They are not going to take offense at something that you think is an innocuous statement."

            Jesin shoved that statement into the same small corner as his babbling mind in order to try and calm it down.

            All too soon they were at the doors that marked the set of the rooms that belonged to the gryphons.  Oddly enough, there seemed to be quite a bit of noise from behind the double doors.  Talia knocked politely.

            "Come in," replied a voice in accented Valdemaran.

            The doors opened onto a lively site – two little gryphons were running around the room, happily chasing a wolf-like creature.  The wolf seemed to take it all in stride, but the noise from the two little ones was enough to raise the noise level to the verge of what could be considered cacophony.

            At the opening of the doors, the wolf creature paused long enough to look both him and Talia over but still stay one step ahead of the little gryphlets.  With a clear wink, the creature bounded over to another door that had passed Jesin's immediate notice.  The gryphlets followed, hot on his tail.

            The noise reduction was quite noticeable, although shrieks were still heard from the room next door.  Ears still ringing slightly, Jesin blinked a couple times, and looked around the room to take in what he had managed to overlook.

            In the center of the room was a nest of sorts.  Jesin was not entirely sure about what he had imagined the gryphons were sleeping in, but a small part of him had been amused over the idea of a nest constructed of sticks in the palace.  This was certainly not a traditional nest as his mind had imagined – traditional nests were not made of featherbeds.

             There was a woman sitting on the edge of the large nest, and Jesin would have at first thought her perfectly ordinary.  And yet, there was something subtly different about her.  Finally, it came to him – her eyes were slitted.

            Slitted?!  Jesin did a double take.  Indeed, this woman had slitted pupils, much like a cat's.  She also held a sword that looked like it could definitely do its own bit of damage.  Swallowing hard, he finally let his eyes drift to the reason why he had come to this room in the first place.

            Two pairs of raptor eyes met his gaze.  Yet these eyes were full of intelligence and, at the moment at least, a hint of welcome, nothing like a normal raptor's eyes.

            Welcome is good the tiny corner of his mind babbled.

            "Ssso, to what do we owe the pleasssurrre, Herrrald Talia?" spoke one of the gryphons while Jesin tried his very best to not gape at the huge beak that looked like it could very easily snap him in two.  A part of him abstractly noted that for such a creature to be able to speak, the tongue would have to be mobile; a beak meant no lips to form the sounds speaking usually called for.

            "Healer Jesin here was wondering if you could provide him some assistance in his search for information, Hydona," responded Talia amiably.  She gestured towards him and Jesin hastily stepped forward.  "It has to do with one of the Trainees that is causing quite a stir in the Collegium and we figured it would be best to understand the problem before trying to tackle it."  Now she tilted her head and smiled, "I take it we are not intruding on anything?  We can come back later if you like.  I would have wished to tell you earlier about this but –"

            "But one thing leadsss to anotherrr and you werrre busssy, yesss?" replied the other gryphon, not looking at all angry over the unexpected disturbance.  "Cerrrtainly.  If we can be of any asssissstance, we would love to be able to help in any way we can.  We werrre sssimply ssspending a little frrree time to catch up with ourrr little sssisssterrr herrre."  At this, he nodded towards the woman sitting on the edge of the nest.

            "Hello Nyara," said Talia, greeting the woman whom she evidently recognized.  She returned her attention back to the gryphons and nodded.  "Exactly Treyvan, and unfortunately free time is in short demand, isn't it?"

            "That it isss," nodded Treyvan.  His head turned slightly to focus on Jesin.  "Ssso, how may we be of ssserrrvice?"

            "Ah, it's about Counter-Healing," Jesin managed to say in a rush, though the fact that he managed to do so without stammering surprised him.  "Not that I plan to do it," he continued hastily, hoping that they would not get the wrong idea.  "But I have a student who managed to perform such feats.  I'm sure it's by accident, but quite frankly, we don't know what we should do or even where to start."  With a breath, his face took on a more determined look, "And we have to figure it out soon.  Just last night, she managed to somehow apply it to herself and sent herself into a dreadful fever and shock."

            Both gryphons did not look happy over that news, but also looked slightly out of element.  "Unforrrtunately -" began Hydona.

            _::I think I could be useful instead of looking like a bright piece of tin:: said a gravely voice in his mind with a touch of humor._

            Jesin's eyes grew wide, looking around to try and find the source of the voice.  "Wha – what was that?"

            "That," said the woman on the edge of the nest that Talia had called Nyara, "Was my mentor sticking in her two bits."  Holding up the sword, she smiled slightly, a smile that seemed almost feline.  "Healer Jesin, meet Need."

_~ *glances around* Did you guys miss me? =)  I hope I'm keeping you interested by throwing Need into the picture! ^_^  Please drop a review, I take to them kindly ;)  And thanks to those who have already left your mark!  Chapter 6 to come ^_^ ~_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer – *sighs wistfully*  Sadly, while I love Valdemar, I don't own it :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Jayce, Jesin, Mikel, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 6 ~

            Jesin massaged his temples absently as he sat down, trying to assimilate all the information from the past candlemark.  "So let me get this straight.  Lyrissa managed to Counter-Heal because she was _scared?"_

            _::That's right:: responded Need.  __::Or didn't it ever occur to you why Trainees aren't supposed to experiment with their Gift until trained?  Why there are meditation drills?  A lot of Healing is mentality, and Trainees especially can accidentally perform a Counter-Healing with ease::_

            "I never realized…" Talia trailed off, thoughtful.  Indeed, that seemed to be the mood of the room, periodically interrupted by the occasional shrieks and crashes from the room next door where the little gryphlets were playing.

            Jesin still had a hard time believing that a _sword was talking to him, but he really figured it was not best to argue with a sword.  Especially when the sword was making sense._

            Healing, Need had revealed, was part emotion, part Gift.  After all, not only did Healers physically Heal, but a lot of Healers soothed their patients emotionally as well.  That was why there was no such thing as a harsh Healer or a Healer who did not care for his or her patients.  It was also the reason why Empathy often showed up as a partner to the Healing Gift.

            Thus, all Counter-Healing required was negative emotions.  If the person Healing was scared, angry, thinking of death, or anything besides the normal calm a Healer usually feels when performing a Healing, the Healing could easily go awry.  Childish nervousness did not count since a Trainee learning how to use his or her gift by then would still at least have an inner confidence that he or she would be able to help the individual at their hands.

            And as for battlefield conditions where there were always the tales of the frantic Healer running around?  Those Healers still had the inner belief and base confidence required to fuel a proper Healing.  They might have been thinking about the death around them, but not focusing on it.  In general, once a Healer was trained properly, they would never be able to unconsciously perform a Counter-Healing.

            For Lyrissa to turn Counter-Healing upon herself?  That was a puzzle that even Need was not sure about the answers to, but if Lyrissa had indeed held very harsh thoughts concerning herself, it was not impossible.  There was no such thing as a suicidal Healer either, after all.  Maybe the result was exactly what Lyrissa had suffered.

            "How is it that a sword knows these things?" Jesin wondered aloud as he contemplated the meaning of the information he had absorbed.  "You would think the _last thing a sword knows would be about Healing."_

            _::But I was not always a sword:: reminded Need.  __::I was a crotchety old woman who made swords for luck and healing and other purposes.  A Mage-Smith like myself would not be able to forge such blades if I did not have some of the Gift myself as well as an understanding of it::_

            "And you still Heal," murmured Nyara, nodding in understanding.  "So of course your Gift hasn't fallen into disuse."

            "So all we have to do is finish training her?" Jesin asked, a bit in wonder.  It seemed too easy, too simple a solution for a Trainee that caused so much havoc in the Healer's Collegium.

            "No, I don't think it's that simple," Talia said, shaking her head.  "I think we can safely conclude that we have to set her emotions straight first.  She…" and now Talia hesitated.  "Something had to have happened.  Something that causes those flares of pain coupled with… the feeling of deadness that plagued me for weeks till I discovered the source."

            "That isss anotherrr quessstion to be asssked," put in Hydona.  "The ssshield," she reminded when all eyes turned to her in non-understanding.

            Of course, the shield.  How could Jesin have managed to let that slip his mind?  "That shield is going to make things very difficult," he muttered under his breath.  Certainly the understatement of the day!  He glanced at Nyara, still holding Need, hoping that the sword could provide an answer.

            _::I don't know the solution to that one:: replied the gravelly voice gruffly at Jesin's hopeful look.  __::I have not heard anything about the sort personally, but I suppose if someone was purposely trying to cut themselves off from everything…::_

_            "I was able to build a shield before I ever properly learned to ground and center…" Talia said thoughtfully, tapping her chin.  "I wonder if Lyrissa has learned to do the same thing.  Or it could be the fact that her Healing Gift is right now based on an improper core emotion.  There's so much about the Healing Gift I don't understand but…"  She trailed off with a shrug._

            "So we really do need to get her emotions straight," sighed Jesin, feeling a bit drained already.  "But we don't know what happened to her, and I don't think anyone does.  From what I know, she doesn't talk to anyone, and the reference letter I have is of no assistance.  _That Healer just couldn't wait to pack her off to Haven."_

            "I'll try," Talia said decisively.  "Shield or no, if I could coax her into revealing what happened, then it would be a start, even if I can't use my Empathy."  She frowned a little, brows furrowed in concentration.  "Any details you know that could give me somewhere to start?"

            "Lyrissa said a name before the first time she collapsed," Jesin said slowly, trying to recall all the details of that hectic day.  "I didn't think anything of it at the time, but… maybe it's linked to why she got scared."

            "A name is a start, I suppose, along with what it was she was doing to trigger this whole mess," Talia said, nodding.  "What name did she give?"

            "Jinny," Jesin said, hoping that his memory was serving him correctly.  "The name was Jinny."

            _::Maybe I could have a look at this girl:: added Need, causing her to be the focus of quite a few curious gazes.  __::What?:: retorted Need crossly.  __::It's not like the Storms have rendered me completely useless::_

            "Of courrrssse not," chuckled Treyvan in good humor.  "Asss if you would everrr let yourrrssself grow ussselessssss."

            Just then another crash echoed from the room next door, interrupting Jesin's faint wonder that a _sword had just volunteered to help him.  Blinking a couple times, he slowly turned towards the gryphons, one eyebrow raised in questioning and head tilted towards the door.  "By the way, I was going to ask.  What __was that wolf creature?"_

~~ ^ ~~

            For some reason, Cera insisted that Mikel start his day by visiting the Healer Trainee that he had brought in the night before.  _::Lyrissa:: he reminded himself as he walked along the corridors of the patient's area.  __::That "Healer Trainee" has a name – Lyrissa::_

            It took a while for Mikel to figure out where it was that she was located, but eventually he found the small room to the side.  He poked his head in cautiously.  All seemed quiet, the chirping of the birds muted through the walls with the only person present being the one sleeping upon the bed.

            He paused just inside the door.  _::Remind me again why I'm here?::_

            _::Because even though you keep complaining about it being too early, you know you wanted to make sure she was doing fine before getting caught up with everything else:: responded Cera cheerfully.  __::Now go ahead and check up on her, she won't bite::_

            _::Couldn't I have visited at a later time?:: Mikel asked plaintively, before stepping in all the way._

            Indeed, the figure on the bed did not even stir as Mikel cautiously crossed over to Lyrissa's bedside.  Admittedly, he _had been concerned and had only been able to sleep due to sheer exhaustion.  Yet, even in dreams, she was still present.  His dreams had recalled the first time he had seen her in the patient room.  How his world had narrowed to only two colors, losing all life.  It had been a taste of what this girl was going through, Mikel figured, and the nagging feeling that something was terribly wrong was what had actually driven Mikel back today.  Cera might have nagged him to come here, but Mikel had been perfectly willing to be nagged._

            Perhaps some of his worries actually had basis.  The poor girl looked like she had been wrung and hung out to dry; she was pale, her breathing shallow, but at least there was no sign on the fever that had burned Mikel's hand.

            "What caused you so much pain?" Mikel murmured out loud, shaking his head.  A whisper of noise from the window caused Mikel to glance curiously over his shoulder.

            The Companion was back again.

~~ ^ ~~

            Jayce watched as Mikel walked back out of the room.  Cera's Chosen had held his gaze for some time, a contemplative gaze on his face as he had studied Jayce.  Eventually, he had strode out of the room, presumably to return to his regular duties.

            _::Having fun?:: asked a bright cheerful voice._

            _::Perhaps:: Jayce responded, eyes still not leaving the room as he felt the approach of his older sister._

            _::You like that word too much:: Cera quipped, causing Jayce to whicker with amusement._

            _::Perhaps:: he replied, purposely this time, before reluctantly taking his eyes off the slumbering figure in the bed._

            Cera glanced into the room for a moment before shaking her mane.  _::She won't rouse for a while.  All her energy, physical and non, are used up at the moment::_

            _::Don't I know it:: responded Jayce evenly, looking at his sister curiously._

            Although they were siblings, they hardly had matching personalities.  Cera was always bubbly and bright, usually making a joke out of things.  Jayce, on the other hand, was more serious.  He spent a great deal of time contemplating over things that Cera often dismissed as a waste of time.  Every time the two actually did spend time together, Jayce was bound to bring up his newest contemplation, which Cera would inevitably dismiss in one way or the other.

            Of course, considering all Companions were actually reborn Heralds, being siblings was almost superficial.

            _::So is she yours?:: Cera tossed her head in the general direction of the window._

            _::That depends:: Jayce responded vaguely._

            _::Depends?!::  Now Cera's voice took on a shocked tone.  __::Brother dear, there is no depends__ when it comes to Choosing.  She either is or she isn't!::_

_            Jayce did not respond at first, pawing the ground idly.  Finally he responded, __::Do__ you ever think about your past life?::_

            _::Oh sure:: Cera responded flippantly, used to her brother's queer questions.  __::Not that I remember much, but enough::_

            _::I find it odd:: Jayce replied, turning around to gaze up at the sky.  __::I mean, here we are, having already lived a life and now living a new one.  We're hardly perfect, though we're supposed to use our knowledge to help our __Chosen__.  We still make mistakes, still get into mischief when young::_

            Cera could certainly remember all sorts of trouble she used to cause as a foal, but decided not to mention anything about that.  _::Well, it's not like we remember everything right away::_

            _::True::  Jayce glanced back at the window.  __::But so many things have changed.  Do you think they are ready for her?::_

_            ::They will have to be:: Cera pointed out brightly.  __::Besides, with everything changing as rapidly as it is, one little Healer-Mage won't rock the boat::_

            _::And Herald:: Jayce replied absently, watching the rise and fall of the sheets as Lyrissa continued to slumber.  __::Healer, Mage, and Herald::_

_~ Yes, Need actually does know about Counter-Healing =)  If you take the time to flip through Winds of Change, you'll see it as a passing reference  in a memory she gives to Nyara.  Anyhow, the mystery is slowly unravelling! ^_^  Reviews are always appreciated =)  Thanks to those who have already left your mark!  Chapter 7 coming soon ;) ~_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer – *shakes head*…Nope, while I love the world of Valdemar, it doesn't belong to me :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Jayce, Mikel, Jesin, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 7 ~

            Lyrissa woke to the sound of birds singing faintly outside her window.  The songs were interspersed with the occasional sound of footsteps from the hallway, muted conversation forming a background hum.  Even with her eyes still closed, she could feel the sunshine falling on her face, dancing its warmth onto her pale skin.

            The warmth did not reach her heart.

            Cracking open one eye, Lyrissa squinted, holding up a hand to shade her face from the blinding glare.  A quick glance around told her that the room was empty.  _::All the better, I suppose::_ thought Lyrissa grimly.

            She was not sure how she had been rescued this time, if indeed it had been rescue.  Perhaps it had been sheer luck.  No matter, the result had been more bed rest.

            _::How long have I been here?:: _Lyrissa wondered idly, lying back down and turning on her side.  She could see the dust motes falling, easy to see as they floated in and out of sunbeams.

            Mesmerized by the dust, she never heard the footsteps approaching the door.

            "She still asleep?" Lyrissa stiffened.  That was Alie's voice.

            "Looks like it."  Piel.

            A pause.  "What should we do?"

            "I - I'm not sure."  Piel's voice sounded hesitant.  "We can't apologize if she's not awake to hear our apology."

            Lyrissa blinked.  Apology?  What apology?

            "Should we wait?"

            Another pause.  "No, we have no idea how serious this is.  We should talk with another Healer who might have a better idea."

            "Oh, so _now _it's ok to ask?  You know, I still think we would have found out which room she was in much more quickly if you weren't so typically male and refused to ask for directions."

            "I did not –"

            "So who should we ask?"

            "Huh?  Oh…maybe Healer Andil…"

            The two voices dwindled off as their owners left the door and continued down the hallway.

            Lyrissa waited till she could no longer hear her yearmate and roommate conversing before slowly unclenching her fists.  They had talked so cheerfully…but of course, what else should she have expected?  Nearly everyone was a friend of each other here at the Collegium.  Flopping over to her back, she brought out her hands from underneath the sheets, staring at them.

            They were white from the pressure she had applied, but the blood was quickly rushing back to restore them to their proper color.  Proper, except for that stain.  Rain had done no better than several weeks of washing had in getting rid of that stain.

            Water brimmed at the edge of her eyes, and Lyrissa felt pain wrench at her heart.  _::Why do people keep caring for me?  Why, when I can't even save my own sister…::  Letting her hands fall, she fought off the tears.  __::I shouldn't be the one still here::_

~~ ^ ~~

            She was not looking his way.

            Jayce had spent well over a day continuing his window-side vigil, only resting periodically when his weariness threatened to overwhelm him.  He had been about to take another nap when he noticed the slight stir in the sheets.

            Adrenaline had rushed through the Companion, rousing his previously sleepy mind.  She was awake!

            And yet, she never once looked at the window.  The sun was shining directly through the window, causing her to look away to avoid being blinded.  He watched as she pretended to sleep while two Trainees peeked in on her.  He watched as she studied her hands.  He watched as she fought the tears.

            And still she kept her face averted.

            Frustrated, Jayce eyed the window skeptically.  Perhaps a hard shove with his nose would open the glass pane and…

            *THUNK*

            _::Owww!::  Dancing back, Jayce whinnied in pain.  That smarted!  Shaking his head, he glared at the window, which was still firmly shut despite the pain it had attributed to his nose.  Then it occurred to him._

            The hinges were facing the wrong way.  The window swung outward.

            _::And yet another instance where my memories do me absolutely no good from doing something utterly ridiculous:: Jayce sighed, shaking his head in an attempt to dismiss the pain.  Walking back to the window, he noticed that at the very least, he had drawn the attention from his charge inside._

            She was squinting at the window, but Jayce could tell that Lyrissa was only able to see a shadowed figure.  Hesitantly, she rose, her intent of opening the window obvious.

            Jayce hastily stepped back out of the range of the windows.  No point in getting hit in the nose twice in one day.

            Then the windows were open and sapphire eyes met cloudy blue.

~~ ^ ~~

            *THUNK*

            Lyrissa's head jerked up at the noise, a single tear forgotten as it cascaded down her cheek.  _::What was that?  A bird hitting the window pane?::_

_            Squinting, she could barely make out a figure moving back abruptly.  The size indicated that it had not been a bird, but Lyrissa was puzzled.  What could possibly be stupid enough to hit a window?_

            The figure stopped cavorting around and returned to the window.  Unfortunately, the sun cast a shadow over its face, so the entire figure appeared black to her.  The outline, however, almost looked like… a horse?

            But horses had no business around the Healer's Collegium.

            She hesitated briefly.  Would it be wise to open the window?  Lyrissa didn't really feel up to company at the moment, even if it was only a silly four legged one who went charging into windows.

            She dismissed her hesitation with a shrug and rose slowly.  Worse came to worse, she could simply choose to ignore the visitor.

            The figure backed up as she pushed the windows to have them swing open.  With the sun no longer in her eyes, she was able to get her first unhindered view of the perpetrator.

            And fell into an endless sea of blue.

            _::I am Jayce:: The warm tenor voice echoed in her mind as she continued to tumble in the wealth of those eyes.__  ::You, Lyrissa.  I Choose You::_

            Then the falling was over, and she had both feet back firmly on the ground.

            Blinking, Lyrissa scrubbed at her eyes.  _::I've gotta be hallucinating, I just thought a Companion said-::_

            Her world came into focus.  One white horse with sapphire eyes returned her gaze.

            _::Oh NO!::_

            The Companion stepped forward.

            _::NO!:: _Lyrissa stepped backward frantically, unable to think coherently, only knowing that the Companion in front of her could not possibly understand the mistake it had made.  "No, no, what are you doing?  Go away!" she babbled aloud.  "Go away, I'm not good enough, I'm tainted.  I'm everything they said I was, don't you see?"

            The sapphire eyes remained fixed.  _::Lyrissa, I know you.  I've watched you, protected you::_ The strength of the tenor voice fluctuated as if not quite stable.  _::You are not tainted, the death was not your fault, and what the others don't understand is how you will bring about great change::_

            "No, you can't… you made a mistake…" Sheer panic swept her and she half fell over the bed in her haste to scramble out of the room.  Instinctively slamming up a mental wall to stop the noise, she raced out, gown flapping.

            Leaving behind one very stunned Companion.

~~ ^ ~~

            Jayce watched incredulously as his Chosen fled from the room looking utterly terrified.  He was so stunned that he never heard the approaching sound of hooves.

            _::Cat got your tongue?::_ came the teasing voice, startling Jayce out of his shock.

            _::Cera::_ he responded weakly, turning to greet her.

            _::You were expecting somebody other than your wonderful, marvelous sister?::_ teased Cera, tossing her mane.  _::I'm hurt!::_

            _::Hush:: _he retorted distantly.  Gently, he probed the weak link that had fallen into place the moment he had looked into Lyrissa's eyes.

            The infamous barrier had gone up.  The one that kept her emotions from leaking and the one that threw out Healers trying to help her.  The one that had kept everyone else out, but he had managed to breach before.

            And yet, he felt like it would be violating her trust.

            Ears flat, he turned to face Cera.  _::She ran away and is trying to block::_

            Cera snorted.  _::The question is, what is she really__ running away from?::_

            _::Her past?:: Jayce looked back toward the window.  __::She fears these changes.  She has an idea what being Chosen means.  She wants to move on, but the guilt weighs on her too heavily::_

            _::But you know:: Cera's statement implied fact over question._

            Jayce looked back at Cera and nodded.  _::I know, because I was able to see it; the shield let me pass.  She unconsciously knows that I am "safe"… but consciously?::_

            _::Consciously, you are a Companion who is as foreign as the Trainees around her.  You are a Companion who has chosen a Healer, where Healer's are never Chosen:: The seriousness of Cera's tone felt unusual and made the comments all the more solemn.  __::You are a Companion who has made a mistake::_

            Jayce remained silent.  What could he say?

            _::Relax, brother mine:: the cheerful inflection had returned, and so had the twinkle in Cera's eyes.  __::They will convince her::_

            _::I hope so:: Jayce turned away from the window and looked up at the sun.  __::For her sake and theirs, I hope so::_

~~ ^ ~~

            Flying hair and cloth whirled past Mikel in a blur as he turned around a corner in the Healer's Collegium.  Instinctively reaching out, he caught the whirlwind, whipping it around to a standstill.

            Frantic blue eyes looked up at him.

            "Lyrissa?" Mikel was clearly shocked.  What was she doing out of bed?  She had been sound asleep the last time he had come to check on her earlier that morning.  In fact, he had been on his way to check up on her.

            Suspicion now edged those eyes.  "Who -?"

            "Herald Mikel," he interrupted hastily, realizing that Lyrissa had never met him while awake.  "I found you two nights ago in the rain and brought you inside.  My Companion was alerted by another that you had passed out." 

            For some reason, she was shaking.  Fear?  He brought his free hand up to brush away the stray hairs that dangled in her eyes.

            The motion seemed to startle Lyrissa to her senses.  Yanking her arm away, she backed up a few paces, eyes-wide in uncertainty.

            "Rissa," Mikel tried to keep his voice soothing, as if coaxing a kitten down from a tree.  "Rissa, I won't hurt you.  I won't-"

            But what he wouldn't do, she never had a chance to hear.  Her eyes widened at the first mention of the nickname he had given her, and he paused for a split second, uncertain.  The pause was all it took.  Immediately, his head was slammed with a force that felt like a mace to the skull.  Ears ringing, Mikel fell to his knees.

            Seeing stars, Mikel could only close his eyes as his blurred vision showed the whirlwind blowing away.

_~ Being sick and having a headache hasn't helped me write this chapter any ^_^;  Sorry 'bout that =)  Hope you enjoyed this one ^_^  If you liked it, leave a review, I take to them kindly ;)  Thank you to those who have already left your mark.  Chapter 8 coming soon to a store near you! ~_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer – Ok, here's the usual bit ^_^  While I love the world of Valdemar, it doesn't belong to me :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Alie, Mikel, Jesin, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 8 ~

            The room was empty.  The only sign of previous occupancy was the unmade sheets upon the bed, one corner dipping towards the ground.  The only movement in the room was the curtains by the open window, flapping lazily in the still breeze.

            The two looked at each other and nodded.

            It was time to correct old misunderstandings.

            The search was on.

~~ ^ ~~

            She was huddled in the corner, the shelves of books enclosing her.

            Her world was a spiral, out of control.

            And the one constant – the pressing pain.  The guilt.  The stain.

            So she embraced the nothingness.  Willed herself to be of no emotion.

            Willed herself not to care.

            Because who was she to deserve happiness?

            Even as her world fell apart, there were those trying to put it back together.

            _::Why?::_

            The room held no answer.

            And Lyrissa let her world become gray.

~~ ^ ~~

            "And you wouldn't believe what happened th-"  Skif abruptly cut off, his eyes seeming to grow vacant.

            "Skif?"  Nyara touched him gently on the arm, question and concern obvious in her gaze.

            Shaking his head, his eyes cleared and he smiled.  "I'm fine, Nyara.  But I think you're being called for."  At her puzzled expression, Skif grinned.  "Cymry tells me that Need evidently volunteered her services to assist with a certain Healer Trainee.  Rolan told her that Talia is trying to find that Trainee now."

            "Oh!"  Nyara stood, lightly dusting herself off.  "Yes, of course, I will bring Need to her."

            _::And with me gone, you two lovebirds will cherish the time alone, hrm?:: the sword's voice was wry with amusement._

            "Why Need, did I ever say such a thing?" Skif's eyes were twinkling with laughter.

            _::Who needs you to speak?:: retorted the sword._

            Nyara laughed and started to make her way towards the Healer's Collegium.

~~ ^ ~~

            Talia stared in dismay at the empty room before her.

            She had felt the flare of emotion followed by "deadness", but this time she knew who it was and what it represented.  Bolting down the corridors, she had somehow miraculously remembered which room Lyrissa was supposed to be resting in.

            Supposed to be.

            When she had arrived at the door, two Healer Trainees were just leaving, walking past in her in such haste that she never got a chance to catch a glimpse of their faces.  She assumed that it meant Lyrissa was inside, perhaps even still sleeping, but her eyes showed her no such tale.

            Unsure of how to proceed, she turned and started retracing her steps.  _::Now where could -::_

            "Oh my goodness!"

            The startled voiced echoed from further down the hallway.  Talia, fearing the worse, ran quickly, turning the corner to see a Herald attempting to sit up straight with the assistance of a boy dressed in the pale green.  The girl, also a Healer Trainee by the looks of her uniform, was just now bending down with a concerned look on her face.

            "Are you alright?" the girl asked worriedly.

            "I – I'm fine," the Herald replied, looking up at Talia though clearly still dazed.  Blinking, he peered harder, uncertainty now dotting his expression.  "Herald Talia…?"

            "Herald Mikel," she replied, nodding her head, recognizing him as the Herald who had slipped out the night of Lyrissa's second collapse.  Jesin had later told her that Mikel had been regularly checking up on their patient since then.  Bending down so that he did not have to crane his neck, Talia smiled.  "So may I ask why you are sprawled so unelegantly upon the floor?"

            Mikel smiled wryly.  "It was because of _her," with the emphasis placed on the word leaving no doubt in Talia's mind as to who "her" could possible mean.  "She ran past me in a blur and I automatically reached out to stop her.  She acted a bit panicky, as if something had gone terribly wrong."  He shrugged.  "I tried to soothe her, but next thing I know I'm falling to the ground.  I don't know what she did to me, but it feels like I got hit by a Companion full-speed on the head."_

            Talia nodded absently.  So Lyrissa had run off in a panic.  That would certainly explain the empty room.  She sent her feeling of question towards Rolan, wondering idly if he knew anything about what could have happened.

            The answer flooded back to her, a whirlwind of emotions that left Talia blinking and could only imply one thing.

            _Chosen._

            While Talia was trying to digest the connotations of the startling revalation, the boy to the right of the Herald froze for a split second, then urgently began shaking Mikel's arm.  "Herald Mikel?  Who is "her"?  Who is she?  Which way did she go?"

            "Piel!" hissed the girl, grabbing for her fellow Trainee's arm.  "Don't shake him, didn't you just hear him say he got hit on the head?  Shaking won't do any good!"

            "But I think he's talking about –"

            "Lyrissa."

            All heads turned towards the new voice.  The woman who emerged from the shadows had a sword strapped to her side.

            Talia smiled.  "Nyara!  I see you brought Need, though how you knew…"

            But the boy Trainee was not paying attention to the new visitor.  "Alie, he knows!" he said urgently to his partner.  "We got to find her!"

            The girl glanced in Talia's direction furtively, unsure of what to do.

            "Oh, you're looking for Rissa?" Mikel's words edged on being slurred together.  He waved vaguely in the direction behind him.  "She went that way, though dunno where to.  Only thing that way is the library…"

            Both Trainees looked at each other and nodded.  The boy turned to Talia, a question and a hint of desperation in his eyes.

            She smiled gently.  "I will place him in a patient's room and fetch a Healer to look at him.  Go look for Lyrissa."

            Neither Trainee paused to question how it was that Talia knew their fellow Trainee.  They stood up, half bowed, and scampered away.

            "Well," said Nyara with a half puzzled, half amused tone.  "What is it that I have walked into?"

~~ ^ ~~

            _::Why am I running?:: Piel wondered to himself as he sprinted down the corridor.  And yet, he knew the answer to that question._

            Somewhere deep inside of him, his instinct was saying that Lyrissa needed them.  That she was bleeding inside and needed to find stability.

            _::Not that you would ever be able to tell she needed it:: thought Piel with a sigh.  Lyrissa always had her mask._

            Alie evidently had drawn her own conclusions, for she was holding her own ground, never falling far behind.

            They skidded to a stop in front of a set of tall double doors.

            The Healer's Collegium Library.

            Cautiously, Alie pushed on one of the doors, letting it slowly open to show the rooms of musty tomes and other research books.

            At a casual glance, there did not seem to be anyone else occupying the library.

            Alie opened her mouth to ask a question, but Piel silenced her with a wave of his hand.  Cocking his head, he paused to listen.

            And then pulled her towards a corner hidden behind shelves.

~~ ^ ~~

            Lyrissa heard the creak of the doors opening, but she didn't move.  She kept her head down, forehead touching her knees that she hugged close to her chest.

            She heard footsteps.

            They grew closer and paused.

            She heard the rustling of clothing as somebody bent down.

            "Lyrissa?"

            Piel.

            "Rissa, I know you can hear me."

            She said nothing, letting the awkward silence form.

            "Rissa, I – I just want you to know that I'm… that _we're really sorry for everything."_

            We?

            "Yes, me too, Lyrissa."

            Alie.

            "I – I was wrong to turn my back on you."  Now her tone turned joking.  "What good Healer runs away just because they get scared?  Guess I'm not a very good Healer, huh."

            She let the words slide over her.

            A hushed whisper.

            "Rissa…" Piel again.  "Rissa, I'm so sorry.  I only wanted to try to be part of the crowd, to be respected.  I thought they might pity you, too, if I brought up the reason why all the Healers acted so funny around you.  But… I messed up.  I know I can't make it up, Rissa, but I'm going to try."

            Piel's voice, so full of sincerity.

            But still, she did not move.

            "I know you're keeping something in, Rissa.  I've seen it before, in my town where I grew up.  This one girl… she went all unreachable on everyone.  Like glass.  A Herald came later to discover she had been traumatized, taken advantage of."  A harsh intake of breath.  "So you see.  I know.  I want to help, Rissa.  I want to be there for you."

            She envied the girl who could be glass.

            The minutes of silence became drawn out, spinning longer and longer.

            Finally, the rustle of clothing to indicate standing.

            Parting words.  "Rissa… trust us."

            But what was trust?

            Footsteps as they left, to hear the door close.

~~ ^ ~~

            Talia entered the library with a minimum of noise, closing the door softly behind her.  She carried Need, borrowed from Nyara.  Nyara, at the moment, was seeing to the well being of Herald Mikel.

            Murmured conversation caught her ear and Talia quietly walked over to the left, searching for its source.

            "-you see.  I know.  I want to help, Rissa.  I want to be there for you."  The voice was male, pleading for trust and full of sincerity.

            Peering around the corner, she saw the two Trainees from earlier, crouched on either side of a third figure dressed in a patient's robe.

            Silence was the only thing to greet her as Lyrissa made no move or any indication whatsoever to show that she had heard his words.

            The two exchanged a look, one that conveyed helplessness.

            Finally, they stood.  Reluctantly, the boy took a deep breath to give one last final plea.  "Rissa… trust us."

            Slowly, they both turned and began to walk away, the girl constantly glancing over her shoulder while the shoulders of the boy slumped in defeat.

            They nodded to her as they passed by, eyes showing their frustration and sadness.

            Even when the door had closed, Talia did not move at first.  She stood there, studying Lyrissa and knew that Need was similarly studying Lyrissa through her eyes.

            Finally, Talia walked the last few steps, covering the distance between her and the curled up Trainee.  Gently, she lowered herself to the ground.

            "Lyrissa," she said coaxingly, trying to get the girl to look up.  "Lyrissa, why do you run away?"

            As she expected, only silence greeted her.  Talia took a deep breath.  She could not use her Empathy, but maybe her words would be able to pass the barrier her Gift could not.

            "Lyrissa… look around you.  So many people are worried and care for you.  We found out about Counter-Healing, Lyrissa.  We found out that it was entirely accidental and we can get you trained so that you won't do it by accident again.  And you know what?  It was Healer Jesin, your teacher, who searched everywhere to find out what Counter-Healing was.  Even when we _didn't know, there were people who cared.  Herald Mikel checked up on you periodically throughout the day.  And look at your friends, your fellow Trainees.  They don't know anything about what we've learned, but they've taken their own initiative to come to you and try to help you._

            "And you were Chosen, Lyrissa."  Talia thought she saw a slight stiffening in Lyrissa's shoulders.  "Yes, Chosen.  And it was no mistake.  Your Companion Chose you, and loves you with all his heart.   Your Companion believes in you, and the Companions don't err.  They may be silly at times, but they do not err."

            She still did not stir.

            "Think about it," Talia said softly as she stood, uncertain if it was the best move to just leave Lyrissa in the library.

            _::Leave me here with her:: said a gravelly voice in Talia's mind, making her start.  She had forgotten about Need._

            The voice chuckled.  _::As if I'd let myself be forgotten.  Place me against her, and I'll see if I can't get a clue as to why she's acting the way she is::_

            Talia nodded, bending over to lean the sword against Lyrissa's side.

            She did not move, even with the added weight.

            _::Good luck:: Talia thought, though she was unsure if Need was even listening._

            And then she did the hardest thing for her to do as Queen's Own.

            She turned her back on the suffering she knew was there.

_~ I go back to college on Saturday, so I'll apologize in advance if things slow down a bit.  Hopefully I won't be too busy ^_^;  Yes, things are finally winding down =)  What'd you think?  Please leave a review, I enjoy reading what you think ^_^  Thanks to those who already left their mark!  Chapter 9 on the horizon ;) ~_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer – I really wish I did, but no…I don't own the world of Valdemar :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Piel, Mikel, Jesin, you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Chapter 9 ~

            She was alone again.

            Except the Herald had left something behind.

            Raising her head, Lyrissa stared at the sword, still in its sheath, leaning against her.  Of all things, why leave a sword?

            Freeing her arms from their tight grip around her legs, she reached out, cautiously, gripping the sheath with both hands.

            Her hands were slightly numb since her grip had cut off some of the circulation.  Still, she had enough control to study the sword abstractly.  One hand slid up the sheath to finger the hilt.  Then, with a shrug, Lyrissa tugged the sword free.

~~ ^ ~~

            Talia walked back into the patient room where Mikel was lying on a bed.  Hearing her footsteps, he turned his head and smiled weakly.

            "You know," he said jokingly, "I seem to have a growing fondness for the Healer's Collegium.  Maybe I should switch uniforms."

            "Switching uniforms wouldn't keep you out of the bed," replied Talia with a smile, "But I'm going to assume you're at least feeling better?"

            Mikel nodded slightly with a wince.  "The Healer told me it was a magical attack, though he seemed puzzled.  Evidently, whatever it was, it left traces of the Healing Gift as well as the usual traces of magery."

            Talia blinked.  "Ah…" she responded, uncertain of what to think of the news.  While the Healer's Collegium had been doing rather well in picking up the new methods on how to treat wounds inflicted by magic, Talia had her doubts about the analysis passed by the Healer who had attended Mikel.  True, while it was easy enough to identify the energies that had caused the problem, the traces of Healing perhaps could be attributed to Mikel's previous visit to the Healers.

            To Talia's knowledge, you just simply could not throw the Healing Gift around like a levin bolt.

            "So," Mikel's voice interrupted Talia's musings.  "Did you find her?"

            Hesitantly, she nodded.  "I did, but… she wasn't responding to me."

            He grimaced.  "Well, I suppose that's to be expected but –"

            "However," Talia continued, eyes slightly unfocused as she stared at the far wall.  "I didn't abandon her.  I left Need with her."

            Silence.  Then Mikel coughed.  "I beg your pardon, Herald Talia, but what exactly can a _sword do?"_

~~ ^ ~~

            _She was in a field, the green grass lush despite the strange weather patterns of late.  The sheep were happily grazing, eager to glut themselves on such rich fare._

_            ::A memory…__::_

_            Humming to herself, she idly carded wool, keeping an eye out for any stray sheep that might wander off to far.  After all, it was easier to keep a careful eye out then to fetch a sheep that had blundered its way into a ditch._

_            ::Why am I…?__::_

_            "Rissa, come look at the flowers!"_

_            The voice came from the right, the speaker hidden due to the dips of the field._

_            "Not now Jinny, I have to watch the flock, you know that!"  The response was light hearted and full of love._

_            ::No…__::_

_            "But the flock never goes anywhere," whined the voice._

_            "Only because I'm careful, sister dear," she called back._

_            A pause._

_            "Rissa, look, it's a funny circle here!"_

_            ::Go look…__::_

_            "Jinny, I thought I said-"_

_            "And there's a cute furry thingy here too!  A rabbit!  Can we keep it Rissa?"_

_            ::Run away…__::_

_            "Jinny, please, don't touch any animals.  You know Aunt wouldn't like it."_

_            Silence.  A scream._

_            "Jinny?  Jinny?!"_

_            The sound of feet running._

_            "It hurts Rissa…it bit me…"_

_            ::The bleeding…__::_

_            "Don't worry Jinny, just you hold on, I'm going to carry you back to the Keep, ok?"_

_            "Sleepy…" The voice was getting softer._

_            "Jinny, don't you dare fall asleep on me.  Jinny?"_

_            :: Couldn't save…__ :__:_

_            "It's so pretty, Rissa…"_

_            "The flowers are pretty, I know, I'll pick lots for you, ok?  Just hold on."_

_            A pause._

_            "Jinny?"_

_            Silence_

_            "JINNY!!"_

            _:: My fault…__ :__:_

            She let darkness claim her, the memory spinning away.

            She cried, hands covering her face, broken.

            Footsteps.

            Lyrissa looked up.

            An old woman with the looks of a fighter.  Her attire consisted of strange garments, but Lyrissa's attention was caught, not by the clothing, but by the woman's black eyes.

            Stern, but kind.

            "Why do you run, child?" she spoke in a gravelly, matter-of-fact voice.

            "I…" Lyrissa bowed her head.  So it had come to Judgement.

            "I ask, why do you run?"  The tone was more pressing now.

            "She – my sister.  Died because of me.  Because my Gift… I found out too late.  Too slow.  If I had only –"

            "What if's, child.  We are always thinking of those, but they are not our future."

            Lyrissa shook her head.  "No, NO!  I Healed her only _after she had died.  Why?  __Why?!  If I had only known before that I could…"  She wanted to weep._

            "You were triggered, child, because of the trauma.  We do not control the Gifts."

            "But I –"

            "What of your sister now?" the old woman interrupted.

            Lyrissa's head jerked up.  "What?"

            The woman reached down and touched her forehead.  "Look."

            The darkness flared, brightened.  Lyrissa shielded her eyes.

            And when the brightness faded enough for her to see, she was in a new field, full of flowers.

            And in the middle, Jinny was dancing.

            "Jinny!" Lyrissa wanted to run forward, but couldn't move.  One arm outstretched, still kneeling, she watched the dancing figure.

            Jinny stopped and turned.  She smiled.  "Silly Rissa, what are you doing?"

            "Jinny…"

            She skipped over, just out of reach.  "You're not the same Rissa anymore.  You're cold, you're silent.  I don't know you."  She pouted, just a little.  "Where's the Rissa who I loved?"

            Lyrissa said nothing.  How could she be happy when she had death staining her hands?

            "It's beautiful here," Jinny smiled, twirling.  Then she stopped and bent down, looking her in the eye.  "But you have your own beauty to tend.  Your own field to nurture and grow."  She waved her hand.  "I have a field now too, Rissa.  You won't let yours fall apart, will you?  You wouldn't let everything die, would you?"

            Slowly, ever so slowly, Lyrissa shook her head, the word _die ringing through her head like a bell.  __::To live… to help others…to do more because of what happened?::_

            "Lyrissa."

            Lyrissa looked over her shoulder.  It was the old woman, the darkness behind her as if in a different world.

            "Why do you run, child?"

            It was the first question that the old woman had asked, but now, Lyrissa had a different answer.  Standing slowly, she glanced back towards the middle of the field, where Jinny was now chasing after a butterfly.

            Turning her back on the field, Lyrissa smiled wanly, a glimmer of her old self.  The guilt was still there, but no longer as overpowering.  With the death of the old came the birth of the new, the guilt giving way to an urge.  A will to help those in need, to Heal the pain and the trauma that was certain to find its way into other people's lives.  To live, because she still lived, and to bring hope and life to others.  To live… because there were those who wanted her to live.  The answer was simple.

            "There is no reason to run."

~~ ^ ~~

            The two Healer Trainees stood on either side of the hallway outside Herald Mikel's patient room.  They had been standing there even as Talia had went inside, though they had not said a word as she passed, only looked up pleadingly.  At Talia's gentle shake of her head, their faces had fallen and since then neither had spoken a weird.

            Perhaps it was the guilt that held them captive in its powerful grip.  Perhaps it was the lack of response over such a costly admission.  Few enjoy admitting they are wrong.  Fewer still come forward to apologize.

            Footsteps from further down the hallway caused Alie to raise her head to bleakly eye the new arrival.  Bleakness turned to surprise and she uttered a small gasp of shock.

            The gasp prompted Piel to look up.  It was then his turn to stare.

~~ ^ ~~

            "Excuse me," said a voice from the door.  Soft, but lyrical.

            Talia turned to glance over her shoulder at the dark brown haired girl standing by the door.  The blue eyes looked surprisingly familiar, and yet…

            Mikel peeked around Talia, unable to see the visitor until he made the effort to crane his head.  His eyes widened with surprise.  "Lyrissa?!"

            And indeed, the girl certainly _looked liked Lyrissa.  Yet, there was a subtle difference.  This Lyrissa seemed more genuine, more open.  The face, so carefully blank, was full of life.  The mouth, usually bordering on a frown, was now turned upward and smiling slightly, showing teeth.  Her eyes sparkled, filled with a relaxed emotion that neither Herald could recall seeing there before._

            Mikel simply stared while Talia smiled.

            "Herald Talia?  I think this is yours."  Lyrissa carefully held up a sword with both hands, half drawn from its sheath.  "I'm not too sure what happened, but… I think I'll be alright now."  Depositing the sword into Talia's hands, she did a small half-curtsy, looking dignified even in the slightly shabby patient's robe.

            Talia accepted the sword, nodding.  "Well, you certainly seem brighter.  All your ghosts put to rest?"

            A shadow crossed over Lyrissa's face for a split second.  "Perhaps… not all."  And then the shadow was gone.  "But," and now she smiled, tilting her head slightly as if sharing some private joke.  "I have my own field to tend to, to nurture and grow."

            A whisper of noise from the window caused all to turn and meet the deep sapphire gaze of a white horse.  Seeing it, Lyrissa smiled and shook her head.

            Walking over to the window, she pushed it open, looking down at the Companion with a contemplative gaze.  Grasping its head lightly, she looked deeply into its eyes and let go of the block on her mind.

            Through the opening rushed a heady feeling, leaving Lyrissa slightly breathless as she was swirled up in a brilliant aura of silver, white, and blue.  Recognizing it, her eyes widened.

            "Knight…"

            Slightly awed, she never heard the footsteps approaching behind her until Talia's voice, filled with humor, spoke nearly in her ear.  "You know, you have the most incredible timing."

            Lyrissa never thought a Companion could look so embarrassed.

~~ ^ ~~

            Mikel had insisted he was well enough to follow Talia and Lyrissa outside to Companion's Field.  He watched now in amazement as she gently walked alongside her Companion, speaking aloud as the bond wasn't yet strong enough for her to convey her thoughts properly in MindSpeech.

            "So remind me again what happened?" Piel asked, leaning against the fence post, watching as Lyrissa laughed openly.  The two Healer Trainees had also come to tag along, still amazed at the incredible change that seemed to have happened in less than a candlemark and unsure as to what had happened.

            Talia could only shake her head, recalling what Need had told her before returning the sword to Nyara.  After describing Lyrissa's situation, Need had gone on to explain what exactly she had done to open her up.

            _::Remember how I would bond to my bearers when I wasn't quite awake?  I can still bond with people, though lightly, to whoever draws me from my sheath.  Her shield…is very queer, but it didn't recognize me as a threat to her.  It's very much based on her emotions, and since she only knows me as a sword, her defenses were not focused to keep something like me out.  Through the bond, I had her recall memories, much in the same way I can give memories to others::_

_            Talia had looked blank.  "But if such a memory is unpleasant, I doubt that would help put her at ease…"_

_            ::True:: the sword had admitted.  ::But something else happened.  I meant __to activate happier memories involving her sister and point out that her sister probably wouldn't want her so unhappy.  Something…else happened.  It was like we connected to the Havens momentarily and, quite frankly, it was almost more than I could deal with.  Luckily, I was anchored safely since I have walked the Moonpaths frequently and I know how to maneuver in the spirit world.  Her?  We are lucky she chose to return::_

            "Let's just say that she no longer feels guilty for past circumstances," Talia finally replied, uncertain of what to make out of the last bit of information Need had imparted.  One could always argue for divine interference, but…

            "Oh…" Piel didn't seem to know how to respond to that either, merely propping up his head on the fence.

            "I'm glad," murmured Mikel, feeling tired as the sun began to set on the horizon.  "But somehow I don't think her story is over quite yet."

_~ Surprised? ^_^  Enjoyed it?  I'm not /quite/ done, so please review! ^_^  I promise that the next update will be much faster = )~_


	10. Epilogue

Disclaimer – And for the last time (at least this fanfic)…I don't own the world of Valdemar :) That all belongs to Mercedes Lackey. However! All those oh-so-interesting characters that have never made an appearance in any of her novels from my chapters (Lyrissa, Mikel, Jesin, Piel you know who)… they belong to me ^_^ Of course, you're welcome to use my characters… provided you tell me ;) Since this is my first fanfic, any questions/comments can be sent to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and would be greatly appreciated ^_^ Just don't be too harsh, neh? ;)

~ Epilogue ~

            The sound of hooves landing upon the dirt path alerted the squirrel perched on the trunk of a nearby tree, causing it to jerk its head up.  Chittering, it scampered up to its hole, watching as a human, decked in gray, rode into sight.

            Lyrissa smiled at the chittering animal, but did not have time to stop; she had a purpose for riding out so far away from Haven.  She had requested the small time of leave before beginning classes.  Figuring she would be starting late, a little bit later wouldn't hurt anyone.

            "It won't be much longer," Lyrissa spoke aloud, taking in the familiar landmarks.

            _::It's a nice day, I won't mind even if it does take a while:: Jayce replied, flickering an ear back._

            Giggling, Lyrissa settled back, thinking about the past weeks.  Her life had certainly taken a change, and even while she still wasn't comfortable about MindSpeech, Mikel had assured her that it was something that was acquired over time.

_            In many ways, it seemed so much like a dream.  Things were too pleasant, too perfect now, especially with how things had been originally.  Not that there was no longer any pain from the memory, but it was dulled, as if put under a careful block that should not be tampered with.  It seemed hard to believe that her world had fallen apart and then forcefully been put back together in such a short span of time._

            A small part of her knew, too, that if it she had been on her own, her world would have continued to be shattered, like so many shards of a broken mirror.  

            Spotting a tree with a knotted limb broke Lyrissa's musings and she tapped Jayce's neck lightly.

            "Over there."

~~ ^ ~~

            A large shaggy sheepdog had yet again wandered off from its given task, sniffing around, when it encountered somebody that it recognized.  Wagging its tail happily, it started barking quite loudly, excited to see the return of a favored human that had been absent for so long.

            "Shhh!!" exclaimed the figure, frantically trying to silence the enthusiastic creature.

            "Carver!" shouted a voice faintly from some distance away.  "What are you barking at?  Come back here!"

            Recognizing the voice, alarm crept into the figure's eyes and it tried to shoo the dog out of the small grove that could easily be overlooked to the casual eye.  Instead, the dog only dodged the waving hand and returned, barking happily.

            "Carver?"  The voice was drawing closer.  "Where have you gone to, you stupid mutt?"

            By the time the large lad named Roeh found the dog, it was barking at a small bouquet of wildflowers, the grove otherwise empty.  Curiously picking up the wildflowers, he noticed the small mound on which it had rested on, though there were no other signs that anyone had been there besides a small section of pressed grass.

            Shrugging, he turned and nudged the now whining dog with its foot.  "Come on Carver, let's go.  Nobody's here."

            Blue eyes, hidden in the branches above, watched as Roeh left, filled with wariness and little love.

~~ ^ ~~

            The gates of Haven were fast approaching.  Lyrissa watched them with a whimsical turn of mind, feeling rested after her visit to her sister's grave.

            She had been hesitant at first when she had first set out, but now it certainly seemed like the right thing to have done.  Laying the flowers down upon the small grave had added a sense of finality to this chapter in her life, as if she was closing a door and now free to explore an entire new world.

            The arrival of Roeh had been slightly dampening, but in the end it had made little difference.  She had simply picked a new bouquet and spent the silent time she had desired before the intrusion.

            _::I refuse to spend time thinking about the past:: Lyrissa mused.  __::Some things really are better left as old memories::_

            _::And many new memories will come:: Jayce inserted, fondly.  __::I would not give you up for anything in the world::_

_            "And I you," Lyrissa murmured aloud, watching the gates loom taller and taller.  Right before passing though, she paused, spending a moment to watch the bustle of the traffic and the life that was the capital city of Valdemar._

            "Pardon, miss, but please move along," the Guard said from his post, a kind twinkle in his eye.  "I reckon that you may like thinking, but this place ain't the best place to sit around, ya know."  He nodded towards the huge flow of people, each person just as determined to get in front of another.

            A little abashed, Lyrissa blushed.  "I'm sorry about that…" she began.

            "'Tis alright, miss," replied the Guard, still kind.  "Ye meant no harm."

            Nodding, Lyrissa straightened and looked up at the sky.  With a final deep breath, she nudged Jayce with her knees to move forward.  As the arch that marked the beginning of a new chapter for her life passed overhead, Lyrissa smiled, confident that somewhere, Jinny was up there, dancing in the fields of green.

_~ And that's it!  I know you think I rushed it, but well… I have my reasons ^_^  But as you can tell, there's a couple things that I didn't quite explain… and that's on purpose!  This is just the first story arc that I've finished =)  What exactly happened when Need tried to help and why did it work so well?  Who is Roeh and what exactly was Lyrissa's history before she got sent off to the Healers?  And of course, I know you want to find out about Lyrissa's training and how she makes a difference =)  I promise, she's no Vanyel, but she certainly is different ^_^  If I get enough positive feedback on this fanfic, I'll start working on my sequel.  I also have a one-shot planned, so stay tuned!  I'll try to update as much as possible but well…college keeps me busy ;P  Please leave a review or send an e-mail to dazz1eu@yahoo.com and I'll see you next time!  ~_


End file.
